Tym Roders: AB-solutely Ridiculous

Tym Roders is a hot bitch! This piece is just 26, not a boy not yet a "mature" man, but hell he's inspiring me to work the fuck out. Look at those abs! DAYYYYUM!!!

Unfortunately, this ho isn't giving away any secrets: "I am often asked about my fitness routine by quite a few people," he tells OhLaLa Mag (more pics there). "Most of it is just good genetics. Thanks, Mom and Dad! Even so, keeping a lean and toned body isn't just about aesthetics for me. It's primarily about keeping a healthy lifestyle. I was diagnosed with insulin dependent diabetes when I was 11 years old. Living with this disease has kept me very aware of the impact daily routine has on my body. I work out 7 days a week. In addition, I dance and jog as much as I can. Working out and being healthy isn't a chore for me. It's a way of life."

See even more sexy pics in his profile at ModelMayhem.com

Creme de Compare

As usual, I'm poking around for health & fitness tidbits when I'm surfing around FitSugar and landed on this article comparing different soups (yah I stole their graphic above...click to enlarge)

Notice how the smallest single serving can, called "healthy choice" has the highest calorie count and is high in sodium.

I'm not saying those soups are bad for you, the calorie and fat counts are low enough (however the sodium count is pretty high all around). I love soup, it's delicious! Great with crackers a sammy or just plain bread rolls (which I like to call Dunkin' Bread b/c I'm high class), soups are easy to make because all you really do is heat the shit up.

Even better, you can add just about anything you want to the mix -- I have a friend who mixes fresh canned soups with fresh veggies, grilled chicken and a little penne pasta. He throws some other stuff in there too, while I usually just heat and eat. I'm very simple when it comes to food preperation, I don't always know what mixes and what doesn't or how the final outcome will taste. I'm usually so hungry by the time I get around to making something I can't afford for it to go wrong or I'd starve to death. It almost happened this one time, you guys.

And so yah, point is you have to read the label. Not all soups are created equally.

Pull Ups are Hard

Here's Matthew McConahottie doing some pull-ups on the beach. He makes it look so easy. And yes I know his real name is Matthew McConaughey but I like mine better.

Pull-ups are hard. Seriously, you guys.

I bought the Iron Gym (the pull-up bar that slips over any door frame!) because I was convinced I'd use it every night during commercial breaks and get super ripped. This plan failed for two reasons.

1) We DVR everything and don't watch commercials
2) I can only do about 10 before my arms die

Therefore, most of the time the Iron Gym is sitting on the floor not doing anything or holding anybody up. To get more use out of it, I've also tried doing hanging crunches (you hold yourself up like a pull-up and bring your knees to your chest). Turns out that is really hard to do, too. So I'm trying. But, like, this is hard.

It's also hard -- to motivate youself to do stuff at home. The only thing that really works for me is setting a specific time aside for working out, at home or at the gym. It's the only way (now my goal is to use it once a week). Maybe you have the will to work some exercise in between other activities, but I don't.

The one thing I can say for sure though, is that's it's totally all my fault. The Iron Gym does everything they say it will on the commercial with that really hot guy. It easily slips on for use and doesn't bust up your door frame. At $30 it's not a bad deal, if you actually use it.

Reverse Makeover

From fit to fat!

Christ on a cracker I love the UK's Daily Mail. That rag is so full of wild ass shit I don't even know what's real, photoshop or just completely made up. Supposedly this dude used to be a hot piece who deliberately junked himself up to get fat, in order to relate to his overweight gym clients.

"I was finding it difficult to relate to my overweight gym members so I have decided to crank up my weight to experience life as an overweight person," he is quoted as saying. "I have always been telling my clients who have come through the gym's doors that weight loss shouldn't be difficult, but it has reached the point where I can't relate and by doing this it should make me a better personal trainer."

If this is for serious, dude is a complete tool. Probably not a very good trainer either. Understanding people means communicating with them in order to see things from their perspective, not trying to literally become them. Fit people can snap back into shape much faster than a newbie at the gym, so the entire exercise is totally pointless. Listen and learn, fatty.

Billy Zane Stays in Shape with Sex

Proving bald is beautiful, Billy Zane is still bringing the sexy at 43 today.

His fiancee Kelly Brook says they stay fit by enjoying lots of sex. She says they prefer bedroom gymnastics over the gym.

"I hardly do anything at all to keep in shape," she claims. "I rarely watch what I eat or go to the gym. Sex keeps me fit and healthy. What can be better as part of your diet?"

Sex definitely burns calories. I'm a little obsessed with this topic, as evidenced by previous posts (read all in the sex tag). Although the verdict is still out as to exactly how many calories are burned during sexy times, I totally attribute my abs to blow-job crunches. Workout partners wanted.

Oscars Hottest Bitch: Dustin Black

Dustin Black is the smoking piece who wrote Milk, for which he won an Oscar. His speech last night about the gays was pretty awesome. When he said he dreamed of being able to grow up and wed the boy of his dreams, I was all "I'll marry you!" But I don't think he heard me from the other side of the TV.

He said: "When I was 13 years old my beautiful mother and father moved me from a conservative Mormon home in San Antonio, Texas to California and I heard the story of Harvey Milk. And it gave me hope, hope to live my life, gave me the hope to live my life openly as who I am. And maybe even I can fall in love and get married. I want to thank my Mom who always loved me for who I am even when there was pressure not to. If Harvey had been alive today, I think he'd want me to say to all the gay and lesbian kids out there that have been told that they are less than by their churches, their government or their families that they are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value and no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon I promise you, you will have equal rights, federally, across this great nation of ours."

Amen, brother. Can I get your number?

Gettin Jiggy with Jay Hernandez

Hot latin ho Jay Hernandez is 31 today. You may remember him from Hostel. He's the bitch who lived. Sorta. I've been crushing on this dude since Crazy/Beautiful and will watch pretty much any flick just for him. Thankfully he's usually in pretty enjoyable fare, and often dressed as a cop or firefighter. Uniform fantasy, I has one.

"I've been trying to sort of get a little more fit," he says. "But I think the main thing is diet. It's all what you eat. You can run, bike and do cardio till the day you die but if you eat terribly it doesn't matter. I eat pretty much everything, it's just portions. If you're gonna eat something you know is not good for you, make sure it's small."

Jay says he didn't freak out out about hitting 30 last year. "Not at all, not at all, not at all. I think it's a weird state of mind and once you go beyond the 20s some people sort of freak out. But if you're young in mind then I guess you're young in body, I don't know. It didn't bother me whatsoever."

"Here's my thing -- every year I get older, every day I'm alive I feel blessed. You know what I mean? There's a lot of people that don't make it to 30. And so next time somebody complains about their age, think about the people that never made it to that age. that's the way I look at it."

Elsewhere, Melrose Place whore Andrew Shue is 42 today. See Andrew then & now. Still pretty hot!

Belfour Bottom

WARNING: if your employer hates ass don't scroll down

These pictures have been making the rounds online, along with this touching story by Thairin Smothers: "We are driving West on Franklin and came to a stop. I looked over out the passenger window and fell in love with that face and overalls. I held up my camera and yelled "stick em up," they did..."

"...then I said "now turn around and drop em" -- and they did. Then the traffic moved and so did we. I am not an ass man, but you have to really enjoy a nice ass when you see one."

Hands up, pants down. My kind of party.

Eric appears to be a fan of showing the goodies. He appears quite nude, multiple times, in the indie romp Lie with Me. Goodie shots here.

Want a great bootie? Then you need to work it, girlfriend! Squats, lunges & stairs are your new friends. Here are 10 great butt exercises in detail, for the beginner to advanced. Plus some variations (with graphics) right here

Seal the Deal

Sexy singer Seal is 46 today.

Dude's got body but he hardly shows it off. His wife Heidi Klum told Ellen DeGeneres that she first saw him in tight running shorts and little else. She also said she could not take her eyes off the buldge. Maybe she told that story to Oprah. I forget. I watch a lot of TV.

Regardless, I've been on a mission to witness the package ever since. The search has not been fruitful because unfortunately he prefers to wear pants or baggy shorts. I also tried finding out what he does to stay in shape, but Google kept bringing up results for Navy Seal workouts, singer's vocal workouts, and images of baby seals. You've let me down, internet.

Egg Head

Pretty much every day around 8:00 I have my second breakfast (I work very early and eat within an hour of getting up, around 5, then have a meal every three hours). Anyway I'm sure you care, but it's almost always eggs. Scrambled.

A bunch of health nuts have been in my ear that I should only eat egg whites. First of all, I just find that wasteful. And B, the yolk is totally the best part. Mmm chicken embryo!

Anyways those quacks can STFU because as I've been saying all along eggs are not a bad food. Oh yah, and I have proof. Limiting egg consumption has little effect on cholesterol levels, research has confirmed.

I guess all I can say about that is don't listen to health quacks because they're always flip-flopping their opinions. They will jump on the latest fad, which in all likelyhood is the creation of some marketing team. Go with science.

Happy VD to Me

Yesterday I bought a big box of chocolates for myself, because nobody else did. Then ate it all in one sitting.

Via Twitter, I questioned aloud if this was depressing or thrifty.

Survey says: thrifty.

I guess discount candy is always a good thing. Now if you'll excuse me I have a billion crunches to do.

Jerry O'Cutie

TV cutie Jerry O'Connell is 35 today. Obviously, running is like really good for you and stuff. But let's talk about his furry friend. The dog, not his patch of chest hair.

Pets are a great way to stay motivated and active. The dog has to go out several times a day, so why not make it a workout?

Jerry's also an avid gamer and big fan of Guitar Hero. It stimulates your mind, man! Researchers have shown that gamers were particularly good at spotting details in busy, confusing scenes and could cope with more distractions than average. Scientists have also found that with a little game playing the visual skills of anyone can be improved.

Wolverine

Yah, I know we've all seen Hugh Jackman wet and shirtless before. And we've all seen him as Wolverine before. But have we seen him topless and wet as Wolverine?

Actually, does it matter? He's hot, this new pic from the upcoming flick is just another good excuse to lust after this furry daddy. I have a serious thing for bear studs today, maybe it's all this rain. I just want to cuddle up with something warm and fuzzy.

Hugh trains extensively for his roles, often taking on extreme modifications in his routine. This right right here is a link to a really good article about Hugh's workout that also offers some really solid advice on setting realistic goals for your individual body type.

Ok so I just had this really dirty thought, what if that's Wolverine's "O" face. Seriously, you guys. Scary! Hot?

Bad Boy B-day Party

Robbie Williams is 35 today. He's kinda fuzzy, but God gave me fingers to pluck pubes out of my teeth. Besides I have a thing for dudes who sing. I know I'm not alone, am I right ladies and ladyboys?

Meanwhile, hot daddy Henry Rollins is 48. Factoid: He bought his first workout equipment from Sears, which he could barely lift into his mom’s VW. Six weeks later, he could throw the equipment across the parking lot.

"Weightlifting was good for me in high school because I didn’t have to compete and you didn’t get laughed at," he says. "I grew up skinny and raised on Ritalin. [The history teacher] was a male role model who was actually giving me a moment of his time. He wouldn’t allow me to look into the mirror [while I was training], and I didn’t. [Once I finally did,] it was a huge revelation that I made this [new body] happen. The confidence that came with that...all of the sudden you are being left alone at gym."

Michelle Pfeiffer: Timeless Beauty

This bitch is 50!

Like everybody in Hollywood (myself included) I'm sure she's had a little help. Hey! A good dermatologist can be your best friend. As you can clearly see though, she's not frozen in place and there are (albeit very small) lines on her face, like any normal human being. The look is fresh and natural, not pulled back and immobile. This is aging done right, with just the right maintenance.

"It seems that my leading men just keep getting younger the older I get," Michelle Pfeiffer told reporters while promoting her new film Cheri. "It seems that people have an aversion to casting people of the same age -- luckily for me, I don't really mind it. The older you get, the roles actually become more interesting," she added. "If you think hitting 40 is liberating, wait till you hit 50 -- and I was surprised at how liberating it was," she said. "The anticipation of something is always much worse than the reality."

Shit, I thought hitting 30 was a big deal. Mentally, I think I'm better prepared for 40, but ask me again in like 10 years.

Michelle will be 51 in April.

New Pepsi Logo: Artist's Rendition

Artwork by blowatlife.blogspot.com

I used to drink Pepsi all the time. When the dial clicked over to 29, I panicked. Here I was facing the big 3-0, a difficult reality because I was still acting like an idiot child and putting the worst of everything into my body.

Getting older is inevitable, but it was facing the indisputable reality of being a full-fledged adult that I realized I had a choice to either stay on the path of unhealthy behavior or change my ways. I was tired and listless, always getting sick, completely rundown and scrawny, weighing about 130-pounds. For a 6-foot tall dude, that’s pretty emaciated.

I knew that would not always be the case if I kept eating fast food and drinking a two liter of empty calories every day.

My diet changed dramatically. Soda was the first thing to go. At first I wouldn’t allow myself to drink anything but water. Now I have a coffee in the morning and have the occasional beer or red wine with dinner. Eating right and hitting the gym turned my small frame into a much more muscular 160-pounds in just about a year.

Birthday Bandit

Classic hot piece Burt Reynolds is 72 today.

As a kid, I loved him in Smokey and the Bandit. It was one of those cable TV favorites that they'd play over and over. He was very a handsome man back in the day. I wanted to ride him. I mean, ride WITH him. I still try to get my car to jump over embankments, unfortunately they're rare in L.A.

SATC's Nude Dude Better Win Dancing with the Stars

Sex and the City stud Gilles Marini is on the new season of Dancing with the Stars.

Gilles is the manho who showed his junk in the film. Getting another look at his delicious wang, even covered in tight pants, is all the reason I need to tune in. If we all pray hard enough for a wardrobe malfunction, maybe that trouser snake will make a guest appearance.

I hope the trophy goes to him and his beautiful private parts (NSFW link to the goodies).

Seth Rogen Makes Me So Hornet

Seth slimmed down for The Green Hornet movie. I kinda liked him as a cuddle bear, but the new and improved version is even more doable -- in fact losing the gut may have enhanced more than his waistline.

Guys who lose weight gain a more noticable "size" down there. Your dick doesn't actually grow, gain/lose weight, but the fat that has accumulated at the base of your penis will be burn away, uncovering more of your penis (Think about a milkshake while drinking through a straw. The more you drink, the less milkshake there is in the glass and the more of the straw is exposed).

As seen on Oprah, Dr. Oz stated every 10 lbs lost, 1 inch of penis is gained.

That's NOT a reason to turn ano, guys. You have to be overweight to begin with.

Seth star often took roles as the chubby slacker, but is action ready thanks to celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak and his 5-Factor Diet. "I couldn't do this on my own," Seth says.

Looking good Mr. Hung, I mean Hornet!

Friday Fun: Naked Tennis with Fernando Verdasco

Fernando Verdasco is a hot bitch playing tennis naked.

It's not a high concept pictorial, but it works for me. Thanks cosmo!

It's Friday, I've had a long ass week and a busy few days ahead. I'm out of things to say and on a tight schedule. You're too busy drooling to read this commentary anyways.

Tennis is good for you. Get naked. Have a fun weekend, everybody.

HNT: Fat Check

That tiny little pudge below my navel has got to go. I don't care if it's only really noticeable when I sit down. It is unacceptable.

Look at that shit: Ab, ab, flab.

Yes, I'm fucking insane to complain about a small imperfection on an otherwise very good frame. There are many (MANY) way (WAY) hotter guys than me but shit, look around, my gym-bod is better than than the average Joe Asshat. I'm not blind. Just a bit obsessed.

Yet still I'm not happy. There's just that little jiggle in the middle. I've been working so hard to get it gone but it ain't moving much (most awesome sentence ever, go grammar!). It's beyond frustrating. My goal is a 6-pack by summer. I guess I have to work harder and make sure I'm eating clean.

Also, I should get my ass to the gym. I've only been once this week. However, I've had several vigorous sex sessions -- and we all know sex burns calories! Even if it is by yourself.

Nom Your Way to a Clear Complexion

Diet is the hardest part for me.

The thing is, I'm pretty good about being active and eat several small meals a day (every three hours) so my metabolism is pretty fast.

Therefore, I know I can get away with stuff and don't follow the best diet. I try to eat high protein, green, brown and purple food. Try. I'm pretty good about getting my protein and veggies but I love starches like chips and mashed potatoes.

Anyways I turn to FitSugar for diet advice and good things to eat. Today they featured five foods that are good for your skin. Nom your way to a clear complexion!

WHAT
Flax seeds/omega-3s
Tomatoes
Whole grains
Citrus fruit
Green tea


WHY
Omega-3 fatty acids are an important dietary resource for fighting dry, itchy skin, common in Winter months. This essential fat moisturizes you from the inside out. Flax seeds and cold water fish, like salmon, are great sources of omega-3s. (I take an omega-3 suppliment) Omega-3 fatty acids are also great for fighting inflammation that can lead to heart disease.

Tomatoes can help increase skin's natural defenses against UV rays (in addition to sunscreen). The skin-beneficial antioxidant increases with cooking, like in the form of tomato paste, and when combined with olive oil the skin protection increases even more. Eating tomatoes also decreases your risk of pancreatic and breast cancer.

Whole grains, which are considerably lower on the glycemic index, can help reduce blemishes. Enjoy your next sandwich on whole grain bread or try quinoa (I don't even know what that is, so good luck) for dinner. Whole grain products are high in fiber, which is great for fighting heart disease and many cancers.

Citrus fruit is high in vitamin C, and vitamin C fights wrinkles. The vitamin slows the wrinkling process, but you must consume the vitamin from food sources to reap the benefits rather than take it as a supplement. Citrus fruits are in season during the Winter months so load up on vitamin C by eating oranges, tangerines, and grapefruit. Plus as we all know eating adequate amounts of vitamin C on a regular basis can shorten the duration of a cold.

Green Tea -- whether sipped or placed directly onto the skin -- is effective at warding off skin cancer. The antioxidants found in green tea kill tumorous skin cells. Topically, green tea can help heal blemishes, and relieve itching and swelling. Green tea also boosts your metabolism.

Oscar De La Hoya

Boxing champ Oscar De La Hoya is 36 today.

I gained massive respect for Oscar when picutres of him in fishnets came out, because I like a freak in the bedroom.

Then I lost all my newfound respect when he denied that shit was him and blamed photoshop. Bitch please.

He's still a hot piece though.

When I was a very small child, age 5, my father taught me to box. I guess he didn't me to be a sissy. LITTLE DID HE KNOW.

Anyways I moved on to kick boxing & karate -- although I oppose violence, I will kick your fucking ass. But that's not the point. Point is, I know firsthand that it's not just about getting in the ring and throwing punches. Fight training is extremely well-rounded for strength, speed, agility, reflexes, footwork and coordination.

Of course I would never spar again, out of fear someone might mess my pretty face. But you can train like a boxer without ever taking one to the head by creating a varied training regime that combines Aerobic/Anaerobic exercises: weight lifting, shadowboxing/bag training and jump rope.

Orlando Bloom Got A New Look

Orlando on the set of his new film, Sympathy for Delicious.

His hair is mesmerizing. Unfortuch, it's just a wig (I like the curlyness). The tats are new, but I believe all but the sun on his navel are fake.

Orlando turned 32 last month.

"I do yoga and Pilates," he says. "I’ve been blessed to be given a great physical form, and I want to treasure it." Yoga is a great way to stay in shape and keep in tune with your body. Pilates is a little more complicated because it's difficult to do own your own, but I would highly recommend trying it. It helps develop better posture and flexability.

Horoscopes are Freaky

I've been stressing out about my book lately and feel like I'm falling further and further behind. I started writing it almost three years ago and now I'm on a self-imposed break, as suggested by a publicist to come up with a proposal instead, as a publisher have a completely different direction than what I've written so far. It's a very backwards process and it's confusing and I'm very bad at time management. So it's just a big mess, basically, because I don't know what I'm doing.

Then I read this:

You may have started a project only to realize that you jumped the gun, so now you must wait a while before you take another shot at it. Instead of worrying that you are falling further behind, use this time to create a better foundation on which to build your future work. It may not appear as if you are making any progress, but your current efforts will be noticed in a few weeks

Sometimes it's good to step back and think on something. When I'm all caught up in the moment I can't see past my own nose, so to speak. So, I'm cooling off and allowing the foundation to set, step by step, as it comes to me -- without forcing it or worrying about it.

Thanks, horoscope!

Michael Phelps Hearts Bong Hits

Hot bodied man-dolphin Michael Phelps is in hot water (pun!) for the pic above, in which he appears to be pulling from a bong. He has already apologized for "regrettable" behavior and "bad judgment," but I think differently.

What is regrettable is that nobody can have a private moment anymore without some asshat taking an unauthorized photo in a personal setting. And I don't give a fuck if he's a sports icon or a celebrity or whatever, this kind of bullshit happens all the time to private citizens and displayed on facebook. There is no discretion anymore, but I guess that's life. People used to be cooler and have some sense of class.

Dude has a heart of gold and has spent most of his life training to be the best swimmer in the world. This hot bitch shouldn't have to fight for his right to party.

What do you think? Like, let's say your kid looks up to Phelps -- is this where dreams are crushed or is it an opportunity to live in the real world, where people are human and you learn not only from their triumphs but also their indiscretions? Isn't he entitled to have some fun, make out with hot chicks, get drunk and do bong hits, like any other twenty-something?

I've always believed that "nobody teaches you nothing," a double negative meaning, of course, that everybody can teach you something...even if it's what not to do. So Michael Phelps has taught me never to do bong hits in front of a camera. Lesson learned.

Sports Fantasy

With the Superbowl and all, I thought it fitting to feature some locker room antics. Enjoy, sports fans!

First everybody strips down to their underwear for an erotic, dusty wrestling match...

...then the bros help each other shower off...