Happy Birthday Ewan McGregor

Scottish hottie Ewan McGregor is 38 today. I honestly never thought he was all that, until I saw Moulin Rouge. Reguardless of weather you like the movie or not, boyfriend can sing and that makes me melt down there.

Oh, and he looks hot in a skirt. It takes a real man to pull that off right there. Natch, it would be wrong to talk Ewan without mentioning his beautiful wang {NSFW linkage}

Ewan, stop leaving me dirty messages and just come over already...

Eat This Shit & Die

What's being recalled now? Pistachios, you guys. No food is safe! Here's a handy list from the FDA on all the food recalls.

Also, if you eat tons of red meat -- you die! Well, you know, faster. We all die someday. New mortality study says eating lots of red meat is bad. Didn't we know this already? Can we officially tell those Atkins liars to STFU?

Suck It, Ryan Gosling

Protien shakes, you guys.

It seems like they've been working for Ryan Gosling. Bitch is getting buff! Ryan says he just works out and eats a lot to get in shape.

Numerous studies suggest that you should eat BEFORE & AFTER a workout. About an hour to 45 minutes before a workout for energy; within a half hour after to give your body back the stuff it needs. Without properly fueling yourself, it can lead to burning muscle instead of fat.

According to fitness mags {I forget if it was Men's Health or Mens' Fitness} you can get the stuff you need after a workout with a nice jug of low-fat chocolate milk. It works in a pinch, and economical too. Those fancy protein shakes are like $8! For myself, I buy the big tub of whey protein powder and make my own at home. The big tub is usually around $20-$30 and lasts a couple months.

The general consensus is that our bodies can only absorb about 20-30 grams of protein at once {I would think this varies by height/weight}. So most of the time you can take about half a supplement drink and still get the maximum benefits.

Check This

Sometimes it's easy to turn a bad week around. Depends on what put me in a crappy place to begin with. Many times I'm annoyed with myself. It's an internal battle.

There's a ton of stuff I've wanted to write this week but I have difficulty managing my time. For example I started this post a couple days ago as a way to get myself on track. In over 48-hours I've managed to write 5 sentences, 6 counting this one. Amazing. As usual, I plunked the keyboard quickly to save a few notes I thought might help improve my week and then got distracted by something like a hot cock in my face. That's just an example. Unfortunately not the case most of the time, because as an excuse for failing to accomplishing things, fucking is definitely the best. You know, like who could argue that sex shouldn't always win out given a choice of two things? Not any bitches I know, that's for sure.

Point is, I get distracted easily -- and go off on tangents for no reason other than being a dick obsessed whore.

You may note my above average swear and sexual innuendo than usual today. I'm feeling especially filthy because I'm in a good mood. The happier I am, the nastier I get. I'm super fun at parties. Yet, being inappropriate does not make one productive. However it is being productive that makes me happy. Being happy makes me act out in perverted ways, so it's kind of like a vicious cycle.

Anybabble, I have this long list of motivational tips that I turn to when I need a little push. The simple things always seem to work the best, so it's really no surprise that making a daily To Do list helped me wrangle this hellish week into something BETTER.

To Do: I use my Google homepage to keep track of everything from laundry to paying bills and food shopping. Over the past couple of days instead of being all overwhelmed and emotional, all I had to do was write down shit I need to get done. Then I delete each item and feel incredibly accomplished when my long list is done and gone!

I'm also really scatter brained {shocking I know} so this trick helps me focus. Stating your goals is the first step to achieving them. Stating a goal can be anything from a To Do list to lofty long term things like weight issues or the desire to go skydiving.

Identify goals to motivate: Put it in writing. Every time you start to deviate, consult the list. If your list says things like "show asshole ex-boyfriend what he's missing by getting super fucking ripped by the first annual pool party," then you think to yourself: Do I really want this cookie or everything on that list? Do I want to waste another afternoon or cross off another item on my list? My answer is self-evident.

Now I can check this off my list, too.

Nathan Fillion Got Back

Another sexy Firefly geek celebrates a birthday this month. Nathan Fillion turns 38 today. I'm posting about him today for two reasons.

#1: Baby got back. Better thank your mamma for a butt like that!

#2: Nathan knows being fit is more than just physical. It takes brains, too. He co-founded the non-profit organization Kids Need to Read with author PJ Haarsma in 2007, which helps provide books to underfunded libraries.

Being smart is totally hot.

T.R. Knight Be Workin It

Some celebs go to my gym in Hollywood -- famous people are everywhere in LA so this isn't uncommon or a big deal {people pretty much ignore them if you live out here because it's considered uncool be star struck}. One day I was fiddling with my bag on the way out and damn near smacked into this dude with bright red hair. Eyes locked on his locks, I was like, hey that's a cool hair color! He was all, oh thank you so much that's really nice of you to say. Then he held the door for me and we both exited. As usual I'm on super strut like a model on fire so I quickly passed him. As I turned back to get a second look {and see if he was checking me out} I noticed the nice guy who held the door with the cool hair was T.R. Knight. He was on his blackberry and decidedly not checking me out. This was some time ago and he has a twink hubby now, so I'm still on the lookout for a celebrity boyfriend.

Over the months I've seen him at the gym several more times and have watched T.R. slowly mold his body into a much fitter figure. Congrats, fake TV doc...and happy 36th to my favorite Grey's gay!

Food is Good

I'm having a real shit week, you guys. Everything is upsetting me and I'm getting all emotional. I'm pretty sure my period is starting. Trust, dudes have a hormonal cycle too! Normally we just express it by punching things.

Anyways, I don't have a lot to say and I'm actually feeling so down I can't even look at hot bitches today without getting angry at them for being prettier than me. I'm just going to close my eyes and hook you up with this link to GreenPeople.org so you can find local health food stores in your area to eat better and support local business. Eat well and be well, whores.

Average Is Nothing Special

Bad news for Ed Westwick fans. That Chuck Bass playing bitch fooled us all!

"Us" equaling anybody who thought he was hotly fine. He has the attitude and the accent, but in reality he's NOT sex on legs. The TV lied to me. This could be a picture of any guy, anywhere. He's extremely average. Extremely. We're so breaking up.

Okay, I'm only kidding. Sort of.

I just thought, well, his BFF Chace Crawford is so sleek with delicious pecs -- I figured Ed would have body. You know, bros working out. Maybe that's just my fantasy.

So here's my deal, I hear many people express that they just want to be "normal" or describe themselves in "average" or "typical" terms. I don't know why I'm using "quotations."

Still, I wonder if maybe people could aim a little higher.

Be above average.

A-Rod's Gay Kiss

A little self love is a good thing.

At first glace it totally looks like A-Rod is kissing another buff bitch in this photo. It takes a little more to create shock factor these days. Oh, he's kissing another dude! Oh wait, he's...whatever, I've already lost interest. Controversy fail, Details.

Alex Rodriguez is in the midst of a huge steroid scandal that could threaten his career. Still, look at those arms! Sorry I was distracted. I mean the point is, steroids are bad. Obviously A-Rod's crippling punishment for abusing drugs will send a clear message that this is unacceptable in the professional sporting world.

As for myself, I have always found the ultimate irony involved with taking steroids is that they make you bald and impotant. In our society this is the exact opposite of the big muscled, macho manly man image that users are aiming to achieve. It's yet another example of how short cutting the basics of strengh training will fuck you in the end {not in the good way}.

People are often wrapped up in the result not the process, especially phycially. One can look amazing all the while literally killing themselves from the inside out. Reasonable, boring shit will deliver a truly healthy body, not just a good looking one.

Train safely, without drugs
Eat a healthy diet
Get plenty of rest
Set realistic goals
Get training advice from reliable professionals
Play safely using protective gear
Talk with your doc about health & nutrition, how to prevent injuries and gain strength safely

Welcome to the Club Adam Levine

Hot bitch Adam Levine hits the fantastical 3-O today. Welcome to the box! The Maroon 5 singer says he turned to yoga to help cure his chronic back pain. "...my trainer recommended I try working with Alanna to help with my flexibility issues, he says. I'm naturally very tight in lower back and my hips and hamstrings too."

Oh, to be that sound check guy!

Though he's totally devoted to his yoga practice now, it wasn't so easy getting started. "My first class felt like someone was ripping my body apart. It wasn't what you'd call peaceful. But I was excited by the idea that the more dedicated I became the more effortless it would become to relax and give in to that tightness. Yes, the torture subsided a bit over time."

"Physically I have always been on the slender side. When I started practicing I instantly felt more sculpted. Yoga carves you into a different person—and that is satisfying physically...I was wary of the cliche´s associated with yoga: spirituality used as a marketing tool or Eastern philosophy sold at Starbucks to disenchanted lawyers and accountants looking for meaning. What I soon realized is that yoga welcomes everyone—that's extremely appealing."

He says the best part about yoga is that you can do it anywhere: "Being a traveler, yoga is by far the most convenient way to exercise while I'm on the road," he adds. "You don't need anything but a few feet of space and a mat. And I can always find at least an hour a day to practice."

While I absolutely believe that yoga is a very beneficial practice, there is no such thing as a cure-all or miracle workout. Always be wary of anything that promises to magically fix everything that ails you. Such as thing is straight-up impossible, if logic or reason fail to deliver the conclusion, it's called science. Look it up, do the research and find out for yourself instead of taking the word of an advocate, commercial, celebrity or hot bitch blogger.

Happy St. Pattys!

Like the origin of most holidays, St. Patrick's day is boring and religious. St. Patrick brought Christanity to Ireland. What a guy. Naturally, I felt it fitting on this special day to picture Mr. Gay Ireland Barry Meegan. He's bringing sexy to the Irish and that is what's really important IN THIS ECONOMY {sexy isn't cheap}. Barry is an openly gay rugby player, so this dude really knows how to handle rough trade and get his hands around big balls. My kind of hot bitch.

Why is a four leaf clover is supposed to be lucky?

Each leaflet is said to represent one of the following: the first is for hope, the second is for faith, the third is for love, and the fourth is for luck.

Geek Me Off a Piece of That: Alan Tudyk

Firefly hot dork Alan Tudyk hits 38 on this date. I sort of have a thing for guys in glasses.

Ok so this dude is not your typical buff bitch, but he looks surprisingly good naked. He has a built in cult following his turn in the short-lived sci-fi series Firefly and its much-adored theatrical spin-off, Serenity, who would agree he's lust-worthy.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Do you get off on geeks?

beFUNKY

Turn pics into high art...or at least a high person's version of art. I thought of all my facebook and twitter friends because it's fun to make yourself all pretty and stuff on your profile page. When you look good, you feel good -- and there's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. That's what this shit is all about right here. Thank Christ on a cracker for photoshop, eh? {p.s. my hair does not look like this anymore, color stripes are OUT!} beFunky.com

TV Teaches Me Things

Oprah was really good yesterday, y'all.

I watched the early feed at work but forgot to DVR the show so I could get all the details. Basically, the O {who has her own personal chef, btw} had celebrity chefs work with viewrs to reduce their food bills and break them of bad diet habits.

There is no doubt that cooking for yourself and buying ingredients separately is less expensive than eating out, but the show tried to make it seem like cooking is so effortless and speedy. LIES!

Cooking does not save you time. Cleaning up all the dishes does not save you time. It really annoys me when people try to gloss over the work it takes to make a full meal, as though anybody who can't cook is so fucking stupid and helplessly child-like.

But other than that, really good show.

Here's a handy link to all the stuff they featured, including shopping lists and food prep in the "Get All the Recipes"

I Have $1 In My Pocket

I made it a whole week without whipping out my ATM card to buy something frivolous! I’m so proud of myself, you guys.

Managed to stretch $8 over two days for lunch by eating the free bagels at breakfast; luckily they had whole wheat ones.

I totally deserve a reward. A shiny, brand new, expensive one.

Johnny Knoxville's Naked Workout

"Things are just a little funnier when you're naked."


Johnny Knoxville hits 38 on this date. I never really got into the show but I have always enjoyed Johnny's nakedness. Lately the Jackass star has been getting all buff and stuff. At the gym, he daydreams of naked men.

"Yesterday I was in the gym watching some dude lying down doing his bench press while another guy stood over him, crotch in face, holding the bar," he blogs. I thought to myself, 'Man, that would be funny if they were both naked.' As I was giggling from that thought, I looked to my left and saw some gentleman squatting 300-pounds. Now that would REALLY be hilarious in the nude. Later when I got home I looked around on the worldwide Internet and found that, of course, my adolescent musings had already been realized ... What I would give for a day pass at one of these gyms."

Yes, there are indeed naked gyms in the world. Simular to naked yoga, the result is more hilarity than hotness.

Thicke & Soapy

Ok so I've been trying to think of a clever title for this post all morning. FAIL

Robin Thicke is 32 today. He shares his birthday with Cristian de la Fuente, 35.
An exhaustive (30-second Google) search turned up nothing about their workout routines. Obviously both dudes hit the gym, with Christian getting a whole new routine for "Dancing with the Stars." That show really whips bitches into shape! A lot of the celebs (Christian included) suffer injuries during their run because you honesly can't just jump into dancing like a pro -- it takes years of practice and dedication to train your body properly.

Anyways that's so not my point. In lieu of their individual workout routines today I was thinking about how both of these guys contribute other people's routines -- by providing entertainment. People are plugged into their iPods and of course most gyms have television sets. I will admit watching TV is the only way I can make it through 30 minutes on the elliptical. Otherwise I'd be bored to death.

One thing that's totally inappropriate, however, is talking on the phone. Cells phones do not belong on the gym floor. Not only is it rude and distracting to others, it airs your personal business for the world to hear. Nobody cares and it's annoying as hell. Sometimes, just for shits, I pretend like I'm on my phone (using the classic pinky-thumb "handset") and act like I'm on the other end of the call. So whenever they say something, I repeat part of what they said and insult them.

Like this:
Annoying gym person: "...and so I was all like, maybe I'll wear more purple this year."
ME: "Yah, you should totally wear purple -- it would match your genital warts!"

But they never hear me because they're distracted on their phone. It amuses me, which is all that really matters.

Gavin Strips For His Art

43-year-old Gavin Rossdale aired his sexy shit out while filming the music video for "Forever May You Run" in Los Angeles yesterday.

As everybody knows by know, I'm in lust with this hot bitch. He inspires wanderlust and is a hot daddy!

The long hair is ok, classic Gavin, but I think I like him with short hair even better. Not as dramatic when you're running though.

In general, I feel dudes usually look good with something to play with/grab on to, but then again a short buzz can be totally hot. I can't decide, you guys. What y'all think: long or short hair on men?

CHALLENGE UPDATE

So I found $5 bucks in my pocket and used it to buy breakfast Thursday. Is that cheating the challenge or like, a bonus for being cute? Yah. Cheating.

Not that it matters. I started out with $60 ($65, whatever) and am down to $8. I did nothing and went nowhere this weekend, even though I had several invitations to do stuff.

Bought food things Thursday & Friday, $10 tip for free facial & spray tan (yah, I get shizz free all the time but it's still appropriate to tip), down to a little over $40 Friday night.

$10 for class with Lalo on Saturday
$3 parking
$5 cigs (I know, bad Wes!)
$2 red vines (I needed candy!)
$6 frozen yogurt last night (rommate's fault, totally)
$6 breakfast this morning
$4 lunch

I now have exactly $8 to last me the next two days.

So Gay For Kerr Smith

Dawson's gay Kerr Smith turns 37 today. As Peter Griffin would say, "I'm so gay for you." Oh Kerr!

"I've been lifting weights for about ten years now," he says. He stared off "tall and scrawny" actor began weight training in the 10th grade to build muscle and never quit. "Now it's pretty much maintenance -- just trying to keep what I've built up over the years." With a pat routine of chest, back, arms, shoulders and legs, Smith does high reps with lower weights. "I rest only about 45 seconds between each set, so it's a very aerobic type of workout that keeps me cut, too," Smith explains. In addition, he incorporates 30-minute runs three days a week. While Smith admits to a rigorous routine for his abdominals, he says, "I've always been OK with my arms. They've been a good size and haven't required much work."



"I've tried it all--five-day sessions with two days of rest, four-day workouts with one day of rest--everything. I think what works best for me is going in there and working on whatever I feel like that day for 90 minutes. My body responds better with two or three days a rest per week."

"Skiing is my favorite sport. It's the one I really adore," he says. In fact, the combination of his love for the sport and Vermont's ideal conditions inspired Smith to join the ski patrol in Stowe, Vermont. "I played sports my whole life, but I think I played because it was something I did with my friends," he says. "However, it bred a competitiveness in me which helps in my career now."

Obama Fit

Yesterday, Obama delivered his opening remarks at the health reform forum.

Though he said his role would be to mediate, he made it clear he's large and in charge.

Healthcare is looking to get a makeover and I really hope everybody can work this one out, for the sake of the children! Won't somebody please think of the children?!?

It seems fitting that he's approaching health care as one of his first efforts, considering the fitness-focused first family. You can't ignore Michelle Obama's buff arms and Barack's slim physique. Yah I'm saying the first family are a bunch of hot bitches! With schedules more hectic than most people could imagine, the Obamas have managed to make fitness a priority; the president-elect even found time for shooting hoops on election day.

In an interview for the November issue of Men's Health, Prez Obama said, "Most of my workouts have to come before my day starts. There's always a trade-off between sleep and working out. Usually I get in about 45 minutes, six days a week. I'll lift one day, do cardio the next."

Michelle rises at 5:30 a.m. and exercises "pretty religiously" with her hubby in the White House's private gym, she tells PEOPLE. But the she admits that she's not quite as diligent as the President. "I can skip a workout. He really can't."

I guess the I-don't-have-time excuse just went out the frigging window when the busiest man in the USA makes time for the gym every single day.

I'm Nominated, You Guys

So guess what? I bet you can't guess.

I'll save you the anticipation and just say I've thrown my hat in the ring for the Blogger's Choice Awards. I promise not to go on and on about voting for me, swear.

But seriously, you should vote for me.

HNT: Naked Yoga

I did yoga naked, you guys. It was not in the privacy of my own home. It was a class full of people, doing yoga naked. This is a real thing that people do.

I discovered naked yoga in the same way I find out about everything else; it's all just part of my fabulous West Hollywood lifestyle, so whatever. I know things and people who do things. Trendy shit.

Naked Yoga is a growing trend among many communities, gay dudes who want to check out other naked dudes being at the forefront. The idea was interesting, because I like nude dudes. After a little research, I found out it was totally serious and not code for some kind of gang bang. As I tend to do yoga at home wearing next to nothing, the idea made sense but I never really got into a group or invested any time in an actual class.

Then I met this really hot naked yoga instructor. Naturally he invited me to join his class because I had already told him I was into yoga. Yes I know your first question and yes we eventually did sexy times. But that was not the point of this exchange and even if he did want to see me naked, in class it was a totally different story and everybody was all serious and stuff.

Well, as serious as a homo can be in a room full of naked men.

After the invitation, I joined the group and even bought a mat for my first class experience (at home I'd been using a large, padded fold out mat so it was really time to get a better mat anyways). Though I had no idea what to anticipate, I certainly knew I would be the new guy and not know anybody there.

I really think that's why I did it. Talk about shedding your inhibitions. That's like, truly being exposed. If you can carry your head high and smile and be personable in a room full of naked strangers, you've got fucking balls.

Speaking of balls, for the most part naked yoga class is not hot. There is no sexual rise going on because the poses are horribly unflattering -- especially to the person behind you. This eventuality did not occur to me prior to class. Also, most of the time one has to be far too focused on balance to even consider an erection. I mean that's just not happening when every muscle in your body is trying to hold you in place so you don't flop over and sprawl out on the floor like a damn fool.

When class ended, everybody got dressed and left, muttering pleasantries and whispered goodbyes like a cheap trick after a one night stand.

Back outside in the real world, fully clothed, a somewhat surreal feeling washed over me as I left my first (though perhaps not last) naked yoga experience.

Hot Daddy: Jason Taylor

Sports pro hottie Jason Taylor has essentially walked away from $8.5 mil to spend more time with his family.

There's boring contract shit that's complicated and makes my head hurt, but long story short he got traded, went on Dancing with the Stars, got traded again (I think?)...point is he ended up in Washington when his family is in Miami, where he used to play. Being on the show took him away from his three kids and when he couldn't work out a pre-season schedule with his new team, the deal was off.

I think that's lickable. Admirable. Totally admirable.

CHALLENGE: Don't Use Debt Card 4 A Week

Here is the challenge: I just filled up the car, took out $60 in cash from the ATM and went to Trader Joe's. I still have plenty of money in the bank, but I'd like to hold on to it. Can I go a week without whipping it out?

My debt card, that is. I can't go an hour without whipping IT out.

McFucking Emergency

This dumb ho is making the news for calling 911 because McDonald's wouldn't give her ass some chicken mcnuggets. She called 911 three times. It was a mcfucking emergency!

Supposedly this crazy twat went off because they took her order, then told her they were out of nuggest, then refused to refund her ass. They offered her a burger or some shit and that's when she went off. Bitch is serious about her McNuggets!

Well, even though the cops came to cart off the crazy, Mickey-Dees offered an apology and is sending her some free shit. "Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused," they said. "In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn't the case.

"We want to correct our mistake. We will be sending the customer her refund, along with an invitation to return for her original order, on us. We never want to disappoint a McNuggets fan or any McDonald's customer. Customer satisfaction is our top priority."

When I first read the statement, I thought it said they were going to send her the mcnuggets and that gave me an awesome vision of junk food delievered by mail currier. Then I remembered, that's called pizza.

If you're curious, each nugget has about 3g of fat and 50 calories.

Anyways the moral of the story is that all bad behavior is eventually rewarded. Next time you don't get your way, call 911!

Rock My Underworld

Underworld director (and Kate Beckinsale's piece) Len Wiseman turns 36 today.

Len's a Hollywood dad who takes care of himself, enjoys surfing and getting his groom on, including pedicures with nail polish.

I like to see a dude who takes care of himself, and not just by going to the gym. There's nothing like a good mani and pedi to make even the manliest dude feel primped and pampered.

While I find the term "metrosexual" is annoying, there is something to be said for a well-groomed guy.

I found this entry on Urban Dictionary that pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter: "A new name for something quite old. Men with taste & style who know about fashion, art, and culture have always existed. In past centuries, these kinds of men were in the uppercrust of society (more leisure time). Technology has enabled men with more leisure time, so less wealthy males can now fuss over their looks and aesthetics almost as much as women. An American Metrosexual is like your average European male. In France or Italy, men can be manly and work on cars and know about art and fashion at the same time. They are cool with that and don't need some special name for the less "masculine" side. In the U.S. people think men all have to be either dumb gorillas or homosexuals."

My father is a man's man, he taught me how to defend myself, survive in the woods and shoot a gun. On the other hand, he has diamond jewlry and wears cufflinks to fancy events. Being a real man is more than a one dimensional thing, gay straight or somewhere in between.

Bud Bundy Turns 35

Hollywood McNugget David Faustino hits 35 today. He's a little dude, but don't let a small stature fool you, some of those short guys have a kickstand down there. You know like the old saying, big things come in small packages. Or whatever. Anyway he's all buff and stuff now.

I always thought Bud was kind of a hot piece on Married with Children, while everybody else was crushing on Kelly.