Big Bangin' with Johnny Galecki

Talk nerdy to me: Johnny Galecki of The Big Bang Theory equates 34 today.

Ok, so...I wrote this whole entry on geeks and why they're hot and how TBBT is saving sitcoms, which I brilliantly segwayed into how cute Johnny was on Roseanne and that I used to see him and Sarah Gilbert {Darleen} hanging out on Melrose and how even though she's a gay it was cute to see them out as a "couple."

And then I made a joke about this:

Because while he's a shortie {like many famous people} Johnny wields a mighty saber of his own {pics at OMG blog}

But then Blogger ate my entry and it wasn't cute. There was some garbled shit up all day and I had no idea! I'm on a timetable so you just get the bullet points, except without the bullets.

Matthew's Basket in Motion

Matthew McConahottie basket swing!




There are many benefits to running, but you should probably wear underwear.

Food Recall Update List

I Twittered this awhile ago but then I couldn't remember the link and had to find it again -- so here it is for you and me both: FDA Food Recalls

Be You

"Shut your front door, maybe take a holiday and come back as the person you want to be, not the person you think you should be." -Simon Cowell

Channing Tatum Plays with Cock

Channing Tatum handles cock like a natural.

Will from Billion Dollar Bodies, Inc. says for the movie 'Fighting,' he "maximized Chan's results" by using a "variety of high intensity circuit workouts."

"To keep his body from getting used to one particular routine, we did some weight training indoors as well as some bodyweight exercises outside at a local park. Now for those who are not familiar with circuit training, simply put, it's stringing a number of exercises back to back with very little or even no rest in between. In my opinion, circuit training is the most effective method of exercise when it comes to changing body composition simply because it keeps the heart rate elevated throughout the duration of the workout and it enables your body to burn fat at a very high rate for an extended period of time after your workout it over."

There are some pics between flicks where you can see Chan added a little jiggle in the middle. He lost about 30lbs to get in 'Fighting' shape. "Chan's diet was by far the most important factor in his weight loss," Will adds. "I believe in allowing my clients to eat the things they enjoy, just modified versions which contain more protein and fiber with less fat and calories. I think going on crash diets and/or eating bland foods in the name of weight loss only sets you up for failure. I have an amazingly talented chef on my team who can take any food you like and create a healthier version that tastes just as good, so basically Chan was eating burgers, lasagna, french toast, etc., everything was just made with low fat, whole wheat, and organic ingredients. And plenty of veggies!"

This hot bitch Steps Up to 29 today.

Lunchtime Links

I'm trying to make Lunchtime Links a regular thing, like daily. You know since people eat lunch every day. No matter how small or trivial, the only way I can work new shit into my routine is by breaking goals down. For now, once a week is BETTER than one more thing I meant to do but didn't.

Is Obesity Causing Global Warming? {diet-blog}

Hot guys with iPhones {squarehippies}

Zac Efron will eat it for $20 {fitceleb}

Eminem on beating drugs {fitceleb}

Sexy stubble boy {squarehippies}

Justin Timberlake to climb Kilimanjaro {healthyhollywood}

McConaughey Don't Leave Crumbs

How does Matthew McConaughey stay so chill? Weed, bro. Dude!

I keeed {sort of} -- he told People magazing his secret to staying zen is not leaving any bread crumbs, whatever the fuck that means: "I think I'm pretty good at localizing and I also enjoy people and conversations and I like to share opinions. I'm not as chill if I don't get my sleep, I'll tell you that. So getting a good night sleep and I don't really leave crumbs in my life, if you know what I mean. When you leave crumbs in your life, you have a reason to look over your shoulder. A lot people tend to be anxious because they're looking over their shoulder a little bit."

He doesn't leave any bread crumbs because he got the munchies! Okay, no, actually I think he means not leaving a mess behind...like...take care of your shit and tie up all the loose ends, or something. Shit, I don't know. Smoke a bowl and get back to me when you figure it out.

One who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes; one who does not ask a question remains a fool forever -Chinese Proverb

Kal Penn Me To The Mattress

Do me, Kumar! House hottie Kal Penn defibrillates 32 today.

He recently left the show to pursue a position with the Obama administration. His departure caused a commotion because the character he played commited suidice, quite unexpectedly.

Though I often talk about the body, mind an spirit are equally important. Health is not just physical, it's mental and spiritual too. Having been through depression and suicidal thoughts myself, all I can say is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are resources out there to get help -- but it's not like I could wait around for someone to feel sorry for my ass. Nobody can read minds.

If they could they'd probably be offened, I'm a dirty whore and my private thoughts are disgusting. Sometimes I even creep myself out, but that just turns me on even more.

Earth Day, You Guys

Today is earth day so...uhm...reuse & recycle sports jerseys like these hot bitches who swap shirts for you on command. Thanks, Addias!

My homegirl Oprah also has some tips on her website for going green.

While I could do much better in my attempts to product less trash, this past year I've stopped using plastic silverware {I have a silver set at work that I clean off after eating} and make sure we recycle at home.

What amazes me is that people throw away paper. PAPER!!! All paper can be recycled. It's so amazingly wasteful. I never throw out clothes or furniture, always donate, plus I've learned that computer stuff and old cell phones should never go in the trash. There are even sites that buy old cell phones, recycle printer cartridges and otherwise turn trash into cash. It seems a lot of people {myself included} have been under the misguided impression that "going green" means more work and more money, but if you reduce, reuse and recycle it saves money.

The moral of this story is don't throw shit away.

Howling at the New Moon

Chaske Spencer, Bronson Pelletier, Alex Meraz, Kiowa Gordon and Tyson Houseman are the newest movie bitches with a bite.

USA Today talked to 'New Moon' director Chris Weitz, who insisted they cast players with true Native American ancestry. "They had to have papers that proved their heritage," he told the paper.

Another requiremnet? They had to be hot! The actors be in shape and strip down in cold Vancouver. "It's not pleasant for the actors," Weitz added. "But they have all been good-natured. They show up on location in drenching, cold rain, and I say, 'OK, off with the robes.'"

I want his job. Excet filming conditions will be much inproved by being indoors in my bedroom. I'm here for the gang bang, thanks.

Wanted Man: James McAvoy

Welcome to the club, James AcAvoy. This hot bitch bends bullets around the big 3-0 today.

To get ripped for Wanted, McAvoy said his eight week fitness plan "knocked seven colours of shit" out of him. I like a dude who curses honestly.

His trainer, Glenn Chapman, claims any body can get fit with interval training. Interval training focuses on building fast intensive workouts into a circuit training routine. Exercise should include speed training, strength training and agility training.

A suggested circuit:
Press-ups
Half-sits
Tuck jumps
Clap press-ups
Sit-ups with twist
Squat thrusts
Dips
Crunches
Bench Step-ups or Burpees
Close arm press-ups
Dorsal raises
Star jumps

Natch, OMG blog has him nekked.

Gone Fishin'

Although I don't plan to do any fishing, visiting my home state {Ohio} always reminds me of a more simple lifestyle outside Hollywood.

We used to fish at the reservoir by my grandparents house, but we never caught anything. I'm not even sure there are fish in the reservoir. Catching fish wasn't the point. A nice relaxing day by the water was all that really mattered. Right now I'm absolutely stress, drama and worry free. Fishin' mission accomplished.

Been tweeting my trip, otherwise back on Tuesday. Until then -- stay hot, bitches!

The Copper Hair Connection

"Often the reason people's hair starts to gray does not have to do with genes but because of copper deficiency," says Suki Duggan, owner of DonSuki Townhouse Salon in Manhattan. "Eating foods that are high in copper, like sunflower seeds, could be beneficial."

I have no idea if this is true, but it's an interesting theory.

Science says: An improper balance of copper, iron and zinc can result in poor copper status, which over time may lead to heart and circulatory problems, bone abnormalities and complications in the immune system.

Seafood, nuts, whole grain products, wheat bran cereals, organ meats, raisins and chocolate are all dietary sources of copper.

Wolverine Is A Milk Whore

That hot bitch Hugh Jackman is really milking it as Wolverine.

I would lick that milk mustache right off his face, even if he's giving me that backwoods psycho stare-down. That's just foreplay to me. Suffice it to say, I wouldn't stop the tongue bath there.

Let's put my lusty loins on pause for a quick minute, because there was like something serious I was going to touch on here. I would seriously touch on Hugh Jackman, but that's not my point.

Milk, and more generally dairy products, are one of those foods that causes confusion. Is it good, bad or somewhere in between? Cheese is good, no bad, wait...good? How many bullets are left in this gun, because I only need one.

Is milk really doing your body good?

I don't want to say the people behind the "Got Milk" campaign are a bunch of baby-raping liars, but advertisers are in the business of making their product sound like the best thing ever. Often times their claims cannot be supported by science. Not that I put all my trust in science, because I'm pretty sure science told us a bunch of shit was safe, yet the side effects are DEATH.

What we do know: Milk contains calcium, magnesium, zinc, proteins, fat, sugars, and vitamins A and D, what some call the perfect package. I would guess those people are not lactose intolerant. The hormones some farmers give their cows to make them produce more milk has been shown to possibly increase cancer rates {by less than 5%} but I question the ability to determine the exact cancer-causing properties of any given material. There are so many factors that may contribute to cancer and my tiny little head cannot comprehend how one is isolated from the rest of the variables.

My solution is to shop at Trader Joe's and other stores that do not use chemically-treated foods. Note that organic foods spoil faster and are more susceptible to all the stuff the chemicals protects other foods from.

This is a lot of talk about God-dammed milk. Ultimately everybody has to make their own choice. Personally there are very few times I crave a glass of milk, usually only after a workout when it benefits me most.

Lunchtime Links

Zac Efron goes down on a big pole {popbytes}

Sean Simpson is a master pimp {thanks for the love at WillCubed}

Marshmallow Diet: Why Food Fads Are Dumb {Ririan Project}

Stay slim, brush teeth {Diet Blog}

Jake Gyllenhaal in bike shorts {fitceleb}

Calculate calories burned playing Wii fit {fitsugar}

Eva Mendes' secret to success {healthyhollywood}

A Very Brody Birthday

Hot bodied Adrien Brody wraps his sexy shit around 36 today.

For the December 2005 issue of Men's Health, the actor transformed his body from "scrawny to brawny." First of all, fuck, 2005 was a long ass time ago. Can you believe that shit? We're almost half way through 2009! Honestly...you are getting old. Luckily, it gets better with age if you work it.

Michael Mejia, a trainer and coauthor of Scrawny to Brawny, offers these two tips for success:

1. Don't Lift Too Much. "What you really need is less volume but more intensity," says Mejia. This strategy actually simplifies your workout with only four exercises every session.

2. Eat A Lot. To build new muscle, you need calories. "Guys don't eat nearly enough, says Mejia. "They're reluctant, rightfully so, about putting on body fat." To avoid that, "you must count calories," says Mejia. Figure out your body's optimal caloric intake, then add 300 to 500 calories to that total to determine how much you need to pack in every day.

The Scrawny to Brawny Workout: For the first three, do five sets of five reps. Rest no more than 2 minutes between sets. For the last exercise, do two or three sets of eight to 12 reps, as this targets smaller muscles in your core or shoulders.

Monday: Squat, barbell incline bench press, pullup, weighted situp
Wednesday: Hang clean and press, deadlift, dip, side-lying external rotation
Friday: Front squat, dumbbell bench press, bent-over row, back extension

If you don't know these moves, see detailed descriptions at Mens Health

Natch, what's a hot bitch without a little back door action? See the Brody booty

Hot Wet Douche

These pics surfaced awhile ago and I happily swiped them from my buddy MK over at popbytes, then never got around to posting them. Until today...obviously. Naturally the question is not would you hit it? but what would you hit it with: the dick or a brick?

Ashton is known for his man-child antics coupled with a hyper-energy level that many equate to "acting like a douche." I'm not exactly sure where the line is drawn, but if you're still pulling the same pranks at 31 as 21 then you're probably deserving of that label.

Recently Ashton twittered: "Time to get serious. I’m so paranoid about doing scenes with my shirt off." He and wifey Demi have been doing the DVD homeworkout series P90X. TWST*: "I have only done the yoga DVD of the P90X so far and that kicked my a–! The husband is banging it out everyday though! I need to motivate!!"


*That's What She Twittered

Happy Easter

Holy three-way!

Happy Easter, you guys.

Plastics by Number

Let's learn something today, you guys. You may have heard that plastic containers are not cool. Well, it's a little more coomplicated than that. Plastic can be recycled and some containers are ok to use...or at least better than others.

On the bottom of every plastic container, there's a triangle with a number. 1, 2, 4 & 5 are the "safe" plastic containers that don't leach chemicals into food.

There's some debate about what is and what isn't microwave safe, so it's best to put it on a plate before heating.

Learning stuff is kinda boring sometimes. I'll update with some hotties later.

Happy Freaking Birthday to Me

Today I celebrate ME! Sort of like every other day.

Every year, reflecting back, I try to recognize my accomplishments and ultimately reinforce the reason I started this blog and the whole self-improvement thing. It is my simple goal to get better as time passes. I could compile a laundry list of bullshit that makes me great, but honestly that's what I pretty much do here on a daily basis anyways. Even though I've dragged myself up from rock bottom to a healthy lifestyle and a successful career {i.e. what the sidebar says} it still takes work, you guys. I'm trying every day to be BETTER.

However, I will say I'm most proud of ... which is that I'm finally taking control of my environment and cleaning my clutter. Just like a big boy!

Another Manic Monday

Heroes Hottie Joel West turns 34 today.

A workout "maniac," he spends about two hours a day full-tilt in the gym. I've often heard that after an hour of intense training, you've done about all you can do. After that, you can start tearing down muscle and the workout can become counter-productive. Obviously Joel is a little obsessed {it shows} but there's no reason to fucking kill yourself at the gym. Just sort of kill yourself.

With his career, West he has adopted a new goal -- to have no goals. "It makes it a lot easier to enjoy every day," he says. Although this may sound like a joke, there are many times we put far too much pressure on ourselves. In fact, a therapist once told me the best way to achieve my goals was to lower my expectations. Just commit with faith & force; good things will happen.

Advice from Judy

"Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else."
- Judy Garland

Lunchtime Links Returnith

Lance Armstrong has good days, or great days {healthyhollywood}

Like I said, low-fat choco moo is the post-gym bomb! {dietblog}

Neil Patrick Harris' favorite treat {fitceleb}

Tori Spelling is shrinking {popbytes}

2009 fitness trends {ACSM}

FFF!

Finally Fucking Friday, you guys.

The end of the week is always a fabulous thing, because it means I get to sleep in tomorrow. I'm at work at 5AM weekdays, so getting to rest up is like the best thing ever. Sleep is so important to me. More important than food. More important than sex! Okay, that last part is a total lie.

I'm in an oddly good mood just thinking about all the sleep I'm gonna get this weekend, for reals. Fuck, I can't wait. Meanwhile, here are some random hotties to ensure some sweet dreams or at least a good masturbation fantasy before knocking out. Shooting a big load is like a sleeping pill for dudes.

Here we have Ryan Reynolds, not because I haven't talked about Ryan Reynolds running the New York marathon before, but because Ryan Reynolds is so damn hot that I wouldn't even make him shower before jumping his bones after running said marathon.

Dear Keanu Reeves: Talk less, strip more. Love, Wes

Dancing hottie Dmitry Chaplin hasn't quite hit the "hot bitches over 30" bracket, but he'll get there and I'd be happy to teach him everything he needs to know in the meantime.

Birthday Babe: Christopher Meloni

Like a fine wine, this hot bitch just gets BETTER with age.

A quick Google search deliciously returns much more of Christopher Meloni in the shower. If you're clicky for the dickey, here's another hot Oz screen grab of Mr. Meloni in all his glory {both NSFW}

Clearly, this kind of hotness doesn't just happen. To stay muscular Christopher does "weights, running and kickboxing," but he admits he's had a little help in some areas. "The abs are courtesy of endless crunches. The ass is genetic." He adds that the key is "variety. Lift one day, yoga another, kick ass {martial arts} another, etc."

"Gym time is very much a meditation exercise for me," he says. I totally agree. My time at the gym is probably the only time I'm not thinking about fitting everything into my schedule, an errand that needs running, a column I need to write, or some other task list that needs completed. All that shit goes out the window. It's pretty much required. If you don't focus when you're working out you can seriously injure or embarrass yourself.

I know personally because this one time, I was checking out some guy a the gym and not really paying attention to my bench press. As I re-racked the weights, one end of the bar missed. This caused the bar to tilt, the weight at the end to slide off and instantly create a chain reaction, with the other end being pulled to the floor by the weight still on it, ultimately causing both weights to fly off and the bar to damn near flip out of my hand. Thankfully I'm pretty calm in these situations -- and have been a gym rat since I was a kid -- so I didn't pull anything or hurt myself. But I did feel pretty stupid. Never again. Lesson learned: only ogle between sets.

Christopher Meloni donkey punches 48 today.

Upskirt

Since I kicked off the week with sexy studs in skirts, why not continue the trend with this hot bitch right here?

When I think about movie spies I wish would shag me, my Mike Myers fantasy springs into action. There are few men who emote such raw sex appeal.


< /end april fools>