Last blog of the decade

Anything is instantly dramatic when it is made out to be the very last one, a final item, the end of an era. It is, actually, you know. The end of an era! As The Aughts draw to a close, we enter into a new decade and thus reflect on those days past.

There's a Twitter trend going around today, naturally, #10yearsago

All that is great and very necessary to assess where we are in life and where we want to go. Therein breeds the ever present resolutions to live this next year, next decade, next life...a little better.

The problem with resolutions is that they often fail to realize a goal, or they are a goal in themselves, or they're vague/too difficult, or whatever else causes most of us to never achieve them.

We are often troubled by making resolutions because we know what to do, we really just don't want to!

This year, dare I suggest you resolve to do something you love?

Enter the new year with the determination to go out to dinner with friends more often, to see more movies, to have more fun.

And if you want to make self-improvements along the way, find ways to enjoy it. This past year I joined a hiking group because it's a really great way to get myself outdoors and away from the computer, plus one hell of a workout! I really enjoy doing those type of things, it works for me and helps me aim towards my ultimate goal, which is of course to live a BETTER and most fulfilling life by taking care of myself and doing fun, interesting things out in the world.

This past year has also afforded me many regular readers, comments, followers, Twitter friends, and over 100 subs on my YouTube channel. As a writer, obviously I feel I have a voice with something to say. When you shout into the abyss of the Internets, it can be super easy to feel even more alone and isolated, rather than like you are communicating with the world wide web. If nobody is paying attention, you might as well be shouting at a deaf convention.

Point is, I love you guys. You're hot bitches!! It has been great to know many of you through your blogs, Twitters, YouTube vids, etc. Thank you for being a part of my life, and sharing yours with me -- I look forward to a new chapter with you next year.

Dunk the hunk: Jude Law vs. Owen Wilson

Jude Law back-doors 37 this week. I've always (sort of) had a thing for him, but only because he's such a manwhore. Anybody who gets around that much must have picked up some hot sex tricks. Let's face facts!

More pics on popbytes

Meanwhile, Owen Wilson showed why he's known as the Butterscotch Stallion while on vacation in Hawaii recently. Owen taint tickled 41 last month. In celebration of his big 4-0 a year ago, I posted a couple pics of Owen in his birthday suit. Click over there if you want a peek.

WHO WOULD YOU RATHER? Owen versus Jude!
I'd bang both. Thoughts?

F*cked up

I know I keep saying this and all, but I really think this is my best video yet. What happens when you make a mistake? Since it's most likely that everything is eventually going to come out anyways, put your story out first before it gets twisted.

Have a gay ole time

Maybe if I didn't tell you this was a "white trash xmas" party you'd think it was how we all normally looked & posed for our holiday pictures. In the sense that we have a "white trash xmas" themed event going on 3 years in a row, it is sort of how we normally parade around in the Christmas spirit! Fried chicken, mac-n-cheese, pizza rolls & better will be served at this year's festivities; because you have to lighten up and live a little.



HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Glee's Matthew Morrison is a hot bitch

Holy shit Matthew Morrison from 'Glee' is a hot bitch! (p.s. click the pic for full size)

He's kind of an ignorant d-bag on the show, a pretty bad example to the kids and from what I can tell a marginal teacher -- but all that is supposed to make him relatable or something because let's face it America, we're all pretty terrible and working class people are the worst. We can't be bothered to lead by example when our lives are so complicated and our brains are scrambled by JUST TRYING TO LIVE with all the crazy shit happening in the world. Let the next generation figure that shit out for themselves!

Anyways, on or off-screen, this 31-year-old is like a sexy onion. The more layers you peel away, the more you want to cry lusty tears. We knew he could sing and dance, but who could have guessed he had such a hot body -- coupled with an AMAZING fashion sense?!?

"I'm still kind of a loner," he told PARADE magazine. "Even the sports I'm into -- running and cycling -- are the kind I do myself."

"I like to throw my bike in the back of my truck, drive out to Malibu, and then bicycle along the Pacific Coast Highway," he added. "It gives me a chance to be alone with my thoughts."

As for taking the spotlight: "Some performers say it's so easy, so natural, but I think that's bull." he says. "I still get nervous but fear is one of the great things that motivates me to be the best I can be."


* pic via cele|bitchy

Theme this bitch

I'm guessing the theme displayed in this picture may have been "Psychedelic North Pole," and while we can probably all agree it's totally overkill and really horrendously gaudy, they fucking went for it, and I sort of love it.

When you throw a par-tay (different from "party" because a par-tay means there are no expectations of sobriety) you should always have a theme. A theme spramps up your event and takes it to the next level. It also makes it easier to decide on your decor. I mean, if somebody said to you, "Let’s make this Christmas fucking great, but also totally insane, like a Psychedelic North Pole," then it's understood. You know what you're aiming for, so basically half the work is done. Having a plan of attack will always serve you best. Don't misunderstand, things never really go completely according to The Plan, but it makes you feel good to have one, is what I'm saying. There's a vision, now all you have to do is bring it to life.

The Christmas holiday is always a great time to go absolutely nuts, because even the tackiest shit sort of looks like it belongs there. Is there such a thing as TOO MUCH holiday cheer? Take another look at the picture, recover your retinas, and you tell me.

Be sure to let your guests in on the fun by telling them the theme. This year, I'm hosting my 3rd annual 'WHITE TRASH XMAS PARTY' which is sort of like the second coming of Halloween, except everyone has the same sort of costume. Guests opt not to shave, wear hunting gear, tank tops and house slippers while we serve Kentucky Fried Chicken and beer. It's real fuckin' classy.

HNT: XMAS

The hat says "I've been Naughty."

Good boys may go to heaven, but bad boys go everywhere! Not to brag or anything (except to totally brag) but the sunglasses are exact replicas of the frames The King of Rock & Roll Elvis Presley wore. I preface Elvis' name with "the king" because if anyone ever dare call me by a royal title I would truly insist I must always be introduced that way. Respect.

Anyways, they're from the Elvis museum, a personal gift from Priscilla.

Not to me, unfortunately, and obviously sent from one of her assistants. That part of the story isn't so fabulous. But still, they are mine. I'll take it where I can get it.


UPDATE 12/18: I got sidtracked with my dumb story and like an asshole neglected to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL YOU HOT BITCHES!!! Thank you for reading and putting up with my self-involved narcissism. It's the gift that keeps on giving!


Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

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Go go Gio!

I think Giovanni Ribisi is cute as a bug. He's not a very big dude, but little guys need love too. Truth is, I'm an equal opportunity whore.

"Generally I try to exercise and keep myself in a sort of in a neutral way physically -- just sort of either direction, whether it's putting on weight or losing weight -- whatever you imagine," Ribisi says of taking on the physicality of his roles. "It's like one of those things where you have an arbitrary concept of the guy and then you’re like 'ok, you have to f*cking execute that.' You have to do that. Is it possible, that kind of thing?"

"I still run a lot, a fight a lot and I surf. So those three elements are what make me healthy -- but then it's in the diet and everything."

Gio pokes 35 today.

Naturally when I come across nudie shots it's only right to share them with y'all, so here you horny bitches go ... Giovanni Ribisi naked! See his manly bits HERE (Spoiler: It appears it was cold on set that day. Very. Cold.)

p.s. Thanks FreshHotness for the My Name is Earl screen grabs.

Jack LaLanne: 'Dying would wreck my image'

This hot bitch right here is the perfect example of living well and defying the rules of age. When I decided I wanted to be "Better by 30" it was beause I wanted my future, whatever may be left of it, to be lived well. I want to enjoy life, not be crippled, sickly and "old." I don't want to live forever, but I do want quality years.

Jack LaLanne is a fitness poineer who rose to fame in the 1950s with his exercise TV show. He opened his first health club in 1936 at age 21. The 95-year-old (ninety-fucking-five and still a fit bitch!) is currently recovering from heart valve surgery at his home in Morro Bay, Calif.

LaLanne's publicist told USA Today the muscle man underwent the procedure at a Los Angeles hospital on Dec. 8. Hankin also said that before surgery, LaLanne told his family that dying would wreck his image.

The health & fitness guru is said to be doing well and is expected to make a full recovery.

We're with you, Jack!

Bend over for me Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman knows exactly what he's doing. When he's in that position, so do I!

The practice of yoga helps develop core strength, flexibility, and facilitates meditation. It's great to help with weight loss and fitness goals in the coming New Year.

There's a long-standing misconception that yoga is only for people who are alraedy some sort of contortionist. Not a true story.

There are so many various types of yoga, everybody can find a style that suits them. Obviously a beginner wants to find a class that will teach them the ropes, or find a DVD that breaks down the basic positions. I'm beyond the starter level, but not nearly a master. I'm perfectly comfortable being somewhere in the middle.

That doesn't even matter, really. The idea of yoga is to tap into your mind, body and spirit. How far you can take a pose is not the point, it is developing focus and taking the time to do something that benefits your well being.

I highly encourage you to try something new and take a yoga class. It may just surprise you how much you enjoy doing it.

More pics at D-Listed

Travel tips: Note to self

And...we're back!

Posting has been light around these parts so I could travel to Ohio for early Christmas. While I always enjoy seeing my family, there were a few self-created obstacles that sort of peed on an otherwise good trip. This was a journey of never again. As in, "never again will I [fill-in-the-blank]."

I decided to make some notes for my next trip, so I don't fuck it up so royally for myself next time.

Never travel sick: I started puking Tuesday night before my flight Wednesday. I will never again travel sick. Every muscle, joint, hair on my body was in pain and screaming.

Never travel American Air: They don't tell you that you may change to a small "American Eagle" plane during layover. These are tiny planes that make everyone look like Will Ferrell in the beginning of Elf. You can't cram a 6-foot guy into 5-feet of space. Well, you can, but it hurts.

Never take a layover in Chicago: Fuck you O'Hare. I'm totally breaking up with you.

Never take a layover, if at all possible: Because, duh.

Never forget to turn off the alarm clock AGAIN: Yah, whoops! Unlike ripping the thing out of the wall like I would have (I have auditory issues with things with a high-pitched beep, hence my alarm is an ear-piercing tone as it is the only thing that will get me out of bed), my lovely roommate closed my door and ignored instead of crushed. He's a better person than I am. Or maybe he just doesn't have dog ears.

Never park in Lot C: $55 to park over a long weekend! Fuck that fucking shit. They raised their prices on me for the last time. Though it is far more time consuming, I will use Johnny Park service ($6.50/day versus $12 at LAX).

Going gay for Tom DeLonge

Tom DeLonge taint tickles 34 this week.

The Blink 182 guy not only makes music, he also does good deeds! He often puts himself out there for charity, like the breast cancer non-profit Keep A Breast and the Surfrider Foundation.

He's also been the subject of much speculation when it comes to his sexuality, which he takes with a laugh. He once said: "A lot of people think I'm gay. I have a girlfriend, she thinks I'm gay." (He's now married with 2 kids)

Hottest Bitch On The Net?

Gabe Delahaye is a hot bitch who makes me LOL.

Here's a recap of 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' that fits the theme of BB30 perfectly: Sheree is in the gym, working out with her trainer, who has trained some of the "top celebrities" in Atlanta. Haha. No offense, Atlanta, but one person's celebrity ceiling is another person's celebrity floor, if you know what I mean, and Sheree's gym is in a strip mall and looks like a Curves Outlet. I'm not saying that her trainer isn't very talented, or that we all shouldn't work a little harder to lose those Double Decker Chicken Sandwich pounds, but sometimes you can just go to the gym because it's the right thing to do, not because it's another opportunity for you to sound like an asshole.

You can read/lust over Gabe on the daily at VideoGum.com, one of my favorite entries of all time being the Double Dog Vlog Challenge.

Rosie O'Donnell's beauty secrets

Apologies for bombarding you with all this GLAMOUR so early in the morning, please excuse this EXTREME beauty onslaught.

Rosie O'Donnell thanks her spotted tree bark skin to basking in the beautiful sun!

On Rachael Ray's show last week, Rosie proclaimed that she "lives to tan" and that "exposure to the sun isn't dangerous."

The proof is etched across her face.

While some exposure is ok -- actually recommended -- even in the cold winter months, the sun makes its mark. SPF 30 should cover any skin exposed to the elements. Sunscreen is an every day thing, not just when you're at the beach.

Terrell Owens' Off-Season Workout

Terrell Owens butt-clenches 36 today.

I don't know much about this footballer, but I do know a hot bitch when I see one. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but there is no denying his body is insane. DOES TERRELL TURN YOU ON?

To get a body like Terrell, you basically have to train 100% of the time, maxamize every single meal and practice with a team of professionals on the daily.

The following is reported to be the actual workout and program that Terrell Owens uses during the off season (when he's not at peak performance level).

This daily rundown of the exact program as it is described in the training manual included with the Terrell Owens Super Strong Man Edition resistance workout bands:

The numbers following the exercises are the number of sets followed by the number of repetitions. (set X reps)


Monday
Resisted Crunch 2 X 30
Standing Ab Twist 2 X 20 per side
Lunge 4 X 30, 28, 26, 26 per side
Standing Calf Raise 4x20
Standing Upper Back Row 4x12
Seated Floor Back Row 4x10
Shrugs 4x11
Seated Two Arm Triceps Extension 4x13
~After Standing Ab Twist, jump rope for 30 seconds between all sets


Tuesday
Kneeling Ab Crunch (ankle straps) 3x25
Laying Two Legged Hip Flexor 2x30
Standing Calf Raise 3x30
Two Legged Hamstrings Curl 4x11
Standing Two Arm Chest Press (Low) 4sets x15, 14, 13, 13
Standing Hammer Curl 3x15
Standing Biceps Curl 3x10
Bodyweight Lunge (without elastics) 6x15 per side
~After Laying Two Legged Hip Flexor, jump rope for 30 seconds between all sets


Wednesday
Resisted Side Bends 2x20 per side
High Low Wood Chop 2x30 per side
Laying Two Legged Hip Flexor 2x30
Let Extension 4x13 per sideChair Shoulder Press 4 13Standing Lateral Raise 4 13Chair Wide Rear Shoulder Pull 4 13Standing Biceps Curl 4 13After High Low Wood Chop, jump rope for 30 seconds between all sets


Thursday
Resisted Side Bends 2x20 per side
Resisted Crunch 2x30
Standing Calf Raise 4x12
Two Legged Laying Hamstrings Curl 4x12
Seated Floor Back Row 4x13
Shrugs 4x13
Bodyweight Lunge (without elastics) 6x15 per side
Resisted Pushup 4x15
Standing Hammer Curl 4x10
~After Resisted Side Bends, jump rope for 30 seconds between all sets


Friday
Resisted Crunch 1X100
Standing Two Arm Chest Press (Low) 1X100
Leg Extension 1X100 per side
Standing Hammer Curl 1X100
Squat (bodyweight without elastics) 1X100

DAILY HAPPY: Dedicated to Dolly

"I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde." -Dolly Parton (via MRB)

It is practically impossible to NOT smile whenever a little Dolly glitters into your life. Meeting her in person is on my life list. I don't really have one of those, except in my head. Brain list? Anyways, here's a little daily happy!

HNT: Raise the roof

Woot! It's time for half-nekkid Thursday. Raise the roof, y'all~!

I truly enjoy getting comments from readers because it's nice to get feedback on the random shit I toss out there. It's all part of a "healthy Hollywood lifestyle" -- at least in my mind.

Anyways, awhile back a reader commented by thanking me for a fun shower tip. I wanted to recycle the information because it was originally posted in 2007. Yes, I've been beating this bitch that long.

3 TIPS TO TREAT BACKNE & RASHES

#1 My dermatologist recommended Head & Shoulders as a body wash. Cheaper than many prescriptions, the active ingredient is Zinc pyrithione, which is used as an antifungal and antibacterial agent. Other medical applications include treatments of psoriasis, eczema, ringworm, fungus, athletes foot, dry skin, atypical dermatitis, tinea, and vitiligo (thanks Wikipedia!)

TO USE: Rub a thin layer over the skin and let it sit for a few minutes. I usually shave or something like that before I rinse. It's not an immediate improvement, but after a couple treatments the spots begin to diminish.

#2 Another, fairly cheap alternative, is Clearasil's anti-breakout body wash, which is a salicylic acid based soap. The downside to this product is that some people are hyper-sensitive to salicylic acid and it can dry the skin, so I would not personally use it as a rash treatment.

#3 In cases where the rash is mild, Dr. Travis (from my favorite morning show 'The Doctors) suggests using a solution of 50% olive oil and 50% honey will naturally soothe the irritated area. This gets rid of itchies but does not medically treat.

"In serious scenarios where there is a sign of an underlying, significant infection, you really do need to talk to your doctor," Dr. Travis advises.

Without those speckled spots, now you can raise the roof and sweat it out, half-nekkid of course! Par-tay!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

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Welcome to my box, Daniel Bedingfield

Daniel Bedingfield glory holes the big 3-0 today. You never know exactly what to expect you stick it in, but it's usually good! That's my maturity metaphor of the day.

Here's an example of how hair matters. He's cute and all with his short cut, but the longer length suits him better in my opinion. Don't be afraid of a little style, guys!

I love a man that can sing to me. Daniel was all over the place a few years ago with 'If You're Not The One' -- the remixes are really popular, but the original acoustic versison {below} is my personal favorite.

Whores for Jesus love animals

This is the latest PETA ad, featuring super-religious whore Joanna Krupa.

Surprisingly, the the Catholic League is up in arms about this shit. You mean to tell me Christians are offended by a naked lady banging herself with a cross-shaped dildo? Some people are such prudes!

The Catholic League says: "The fact is that cats and dogs are a lot safer in pet stores than they are in the hands of PETA employees. Moreover, pet stores don't rip off Christian iconography and engage in cheap irreligious claims. PETA is a fraud. It also has a long and disgraceful record of exploiting Christian and Jewish themes to hawk its ugly services. Those who support this organization sorely need a reality check. They also need a course in Ethics 101."

They pretty much nailed it, like to the cross, with that statement. It's super rich when you consider how ethical the Catholic church is after knowingly hiding child molesters within their ranks.

Joanna shot back with this statement: "As a practicing Catholic, I am shocked that the Catholic League is speaking out against my PETA ads. I'm doing what the Catholic Church should be doing, working to stop senseless suffering of animals, the most defenseless of God's creation."

With points of the cross covering her nipples, I can totally take this bitch seriously.

I'm pretty sure both sides of this debate are gross and make no sense, but I do love animals. Seriously you guys, let's all make effort to rescue or adopt our next pet. Strays need love too.

And yes, my beloved kitty is adopted. She's a bit of a scamp, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's a pic from when I busted her ass for getting shitfaced and trashing the place:

No idea where she learned this from (ok it was me)!

DAILY HAPPY: He beat anorexia!

The best defense against the big bad world out there is to develop a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at yourself.

Money matters by Simon Cowell

This hasn't gotten many views this past week, but I think it is my best video so far.

TODAY'S STEP: Defeat Debt