Monday blahs, amirite? I really, really try, like super hard, to keep myself on a positive tip. I truly do. Yet all it takes is one little thing to completely derail me and I fly off the handle at everything. RAGE!!!
This week, let's focus on our anger issues, shall we? I'm going to work on ways to turn this around, but let's start off by letting it fly. What pisses you off? I have my own list below:
* Moron drivers in asshole cars. My dad loves this joke: Do you know what the different between a porcupine and a BMW is? A porcupine has pricks on the outside. p.s. GET OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE.
* HTC technical support. Like jumbo shrimp, this term is an oxymoron. Don't listen to those people; their answer to everything is "hard restart!" thus ERASING every single data point on your phone. I said STFUB and hung up. Don't do this, ever. It doesn't solve a running problem, it deletes all your stuff. This is an insanely lazy solution on their end that will completely screw you over; even knowing this I considered it until I remembered OH YAH I HAVE A BRAIN. If you're having an issue, isolate the problem -- you may need to uninstall and reinstall that application or run an update; not erase your entire phone. IDIOTS!!!
* Stupid, greedy sluts. You had me, then you wanted more...daring to ask if my friend gets in on the action. Obviously I need higher standards, because any right minded man would be totally satisfied with what I have to offer. Just like blackjack, this is a bust. To quote Pink, it's just you and your hand tonight.
* Time saving technology. Like HTC technical support, this notion is also a farce. Think of all the tech you have in your life; do you have more time to sleep in, more time to get ready in the morning, longer weekends? NO! That's because you're probably waiting for something to download.
* Multi-taking. Another oxymoron. All this does is delay everything all at once, instead of getting one thing done at all. Every single time I go into a store, checkout takes about 10x longer because rather than just stop, acknowledge the clerk and pay their bill, they're messing around with their email or a call. GET OFF YOUR PHONE. The rest of us don't care about your conversation and want to kill you. Dead. In the face.
5 comments:
People who slurp soup or chew with their mouths open in such a way as to make themselves heard over the tv in the break room which is obviously a SHARED space and not the place for you or anyone else to chew soup noisily. Also farting loudly in ANY setting is NEVER funny and gross when you consider smells of all kinds are made up of particulate matter. Meaning if you smell a fart its because you are literally inhaling microscopic pieces of detached intestine and or rectal tissue.
1. Middle Lane Straddlers. Motherfuckers! There is nothing more irritating than people driving on the middle lane really slow - below the speed limit. Yes, get off your phone!!
2. Damn Zenon headlights (sic) lights that are so bright it blinds you whether they are behind you or oncoming.
3. When my partner turns the fucking volume of the T.V. up and down. Why is it that when I am home alone, I can hear the fucking t.v. fine without having to turn the volume up and down.
There you go. Homicidal Monday for yah!
People who talk on cells and text while driving. As a pedestrian, I've almost been hit 3 or 8 times while in the crosswalk by those idiots not paying attention while they turn corners into oncoming traffic.
Forgot these: I also hate people who take my (unmarked) parking space at work. Technically it is first serve, but I still get mad. That is so my space!! Additionally, street-parked cars that take up more than one space always make me fly into a tizzy. People and their cars, generally, make me rage.
Thought of another one: Comment spammers. HATE THOSE BASTARDS!!!
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