Update

I'm alive! The surgery went well and I'm at home recovering now.
Thanks everyone! I appreciate your well-wishes; texts, comments, tweets, etc. p.s. Vicodin is nice

HNT: Ouchie!

Today is a day of pain. I'm having surgery, you guys.

I've had a number of problems with my sinuses over the years and finally got tired of taking those steroid inhalants PLUS a pill every single day. My throat and mouth get dry and crack because of those medications, and there's a corrective surgery to fix the issues that I've been having.

After much time and consideration, I went on a doctor search. Let me tell you, I saw three doctors before anyone so much as LOOKED UP MY NOSE.

I then decided there was no point in being stuck on getting the procedure. Rather than go into it thinking this was something I was going to get done no matter what -- in typical Aries style -- I came to a conclusion only after completing my research and finding a good doctor.

Luckily I kept looking, because I did find somebody to help me. He explained Septoplasty/turbinate reduction and what I could expect in terms of potential improvement. It was enough to outweigh the discomfort surgery may bring.

Because I'm a 12 on a vanity scale of 10, because this is L.A. and because doctors like money, there was some consideration about tinkering around with cosmetic alterations as well. In the end, I honestly couldn't see any changes were warranted, my nose fits my face in proportion. Ultimately, I had to decide if I was doing this for the right reasons and if it was really the best option. The doctor I chose was one who told me he wouldn't recommend any cosmetic changes, so I knew we were both on the same page.

Even after deciding to have it done, I met with him a final time with a full checklist I pulled out of my massive manbag. I got the lowdown on everything that could potentially happen, the worst case scenario, and measures that could be taken if that happened. Part of me would almost rather not know, I don't even want to put that in my mind, but it is really important to weigh all the facts.

Today I'll be in surgery and resting through next week. I've never documented anything like this before, and I'm not sure yet how it will be reflected here. If I feel like shit, I'm not about to fire up my laptop and type away; but if I'm in minimal pain and bored that's exactly what I'll want to do.

To be honest, I'm a little anxious. I just want to get through the surgery. After that, I know I can work myself through pain and recovery. I'm very strong willed and am going into this feeling physically and emotionally charged at 100-percent. I'm ready!

There are some big downsides, which it is really important to realize before going into surgery. This is the part that sucks. I'm already dreading not being able to go to the gym over the next 2 weeks, but there's no saying I can't do some no-impact yoga positions to keep my body relaxed and in tune.

Over the next few months, I'll make a full recovery. That's when I'll be able to really determine how successful the operation was.

This could be my last HNT for awhile, as something tells me I'm not going to feel pretty until I'm back in peak shape. Until then...

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

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Ink or mink?

Dave Navarro would rather be covered in tats than fur. I don't know exactly where I come down on this issue because I can't afford fur so it's more a theoretical dilemma.

I wear leather goods, eat meat and do other horrible shit that makes PETA hate me. Then again, I've never killed a puppy, so fuck them and their telling me what to do. You're not the boss of me!

Their argument seems to stem from the treatment of the animals, but is there a nice way to kill things? A humane way to end life? I don't know if I can answer that question, because no matter what way somebody tried to end me, I'd take offense.

Still, there are basic rules of the food chain. Things get killed, eaten and worn as coats. If I jump my white ass in the ocean and a shark gobbles me up; it's his turf and my fault.

Growing up, my grandfather was the town butcher. His animals came from a free range farm and he used a rifle to slaughter; one quick shot to the head. It sounds brutal, but I long ago came to terms with that fact that there are things I grew up with and accepted that would make other people throw up if they walked in on the situation. I doubt I’d blink an eye or even notice the smell (j/k I’d notice the smell -- but rather than pass out from the fumes I'd be all like, "who farted?").

I've always seen both sides of the issue when it comes to animal products. While my grandfather killed animals for a living, he made sure it was done in the most humane (aka quickest) way possible. Meanwhile, any of the barn cats that gave birth in the winter were taken care of and the kittens adopted so they didn't freeze in the cold. I was always taught to respect life, to treat others with care and to be kind to animals. Yet, I was also raised with the understanding that meat is delicious and a fur coat is the most luxurious warmth you've ever felt in your life. Fact!

Therefore I continue to ponder where I really fall on the issue. I certainly don't think it's right to make an animal suffer, but again, who in death does not?

Honestly, I don't have an answer here. It's just been awhile since I used the "nude dudes" label at the bottom of one of my blog posts.

Naked Earth Day 2010

In keeping with my resolution to do video blogs, I made another video blog where I ask: Do you recycle? DO YOU REALLY?!?

Shitty Earth Day!

Straight acting

So my buddy Nando wrote this blog about accepting all gay types, not just the "fierce, fabulous" TV types, which led to a conversation about the dreaded "straight acting" tag -- and his friend who took offense to its use. Here's part of my reply:

I don't find the term "straight acting" offensive, but I really super hate what it can imply. I would guess the reason your friend went apeshit is because the term in itself appears self-hating. "I'm gay, but I don't act gay." As though being gay is something to be ashamed of and -- more to the point -- should remain hidden.

I have never in my life heard somebody use "straight acting" in a way that was not meant to distance themselves from the gay community -- or at least the stereotype mosdt associate with being a gay man (prissy pants ladyboy)

By the way, I have found "straight acting" to be one of the most delusional phrases in the gay community. Can't tell you how many manly, butch, masculine, "straight-acting" guys threw their big, hairy, manly tree-trunk legs right over my shoulders when we got down to it. It's a bullshit term. However it is one that exists in the world, and just by speaking it does not mean you're prejudice against your own kind.

Butch & Fem are classic gay terms. I still don't like them because I feel it unfairly puts a label on somebody, which is the same reason you won't get an answer from me if you ask if I'm a top or a bottom.

Yay for celebrating the gays -- ALL THE GAYS -- in our big family. Let's all just love each other already!

Run for your life!

'Glee' stud Matthew Morrison better watch where he runs here in Hollywood, because Imma pull over and abduct that hot bitch right there.

I'd return him so he could tape the show, don't worry Gleeks! My insane stalker fantasies are never entirely selfish. There a some bitches so fine it would be a crime to hide them away from the world. I'm mean sure, it's technically illegal to tie any hot slut up and imprison them in a dirty sex dungeon, but if they're not really contributing great things to the world like a TV musical about a glorified high school chorus, does it really count? (again, technically there is some "law" thing that says it does...but the point is, I just want to borrow him).

Matthew runs because he likes to get his fitness on by himself. Running can be a great activity to clear your mind and release tensions. Personally, I think it fucking sucks and I hate it, but that was the topic I choose for my most recent column over on popbytes.com

The stuff I post over on popbytes (every Wednesday) is all about the philosophy behind fitness, so while everybody knows how to run and some of us hate it, there are things to think about beyond the activity itself. I may enjoy my next run more by really trying to meditate and clear my mind; just breathe in-and-out, letting the scenery pass by without distraction or thought. Get myself in the zone. And smile for the paparazzi.

More Matthew Morrison...in his underwear!!

My probiotic experiment

Can we talk poops?

If that opening statement didn't make you click away, you have been fucking warned. Everybody poops, or, like, they die. So it's a thing, a natural thing we all do and there are many very serious health issues related to poops. We can try to talk about it like mature adults but that takes all the fun out of it.

I don't want to get too graphic, so let's just say my poops sounded like either pebbles or rushing waterfalls. This would happen every single time I ate. Generally, a healthy person is supposed to evacuate their hole (isn't that a lovely, classy term for pooping?) at least once if not twice a day. I'm very healthy and regular on the usual, but something happened back there.

I could not stop pooping! It was weird and irregular and way over the delivery schedule. At first I didn't do anything, because I thought I was kinda sick and you're not supposed to stop the poops; just let the body get rid of whatever is making it sick (i.e. DON'T take Pepto Bismol unless an emergency situation)

So then a week passed. Obvs, I panicked. Was I going to die? I called my doctor to find out.

He suggested probiotics. It seems my tummy flora got whacked by some meds I’d taken and the result was a lackluster filtration system. I’m like a Britta! I needed a new filter or whatever.

Probiotics are live microorganisms, like yogurt cultures, that are thought to be healthy to the host by improving intestinal microbial balance. This DOES sound kind of gross, you guys. Things living inside you!

Whatevs, there are already lots of things living inside you so let’s make it a party. A poopy party!

The probiotic yogurt did not really change things, so I started to eat several of them each day. No change.

I could go on and on about how I thought I was going to dehydrate and die for weeks on end and how my bootyhole was red and rubbed raw like when you have a really bad cold and have to keep wiping.

I never wanted to poop again!

Finally I told my doc his alternative treatment wasn’t working. He’s not big into prescriptions and neither am I, which is why I like him. When I have a problem, his first solution is never to take a pill. In this case the solution? Take a pill.

However it was not a prescription or chemical drug. It was just more of the probiotics, but in a concentrated form called Culturelle. (http://www.culturelle.com)

There are also similar and cheaper products at stores like Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods, but you can get Culturelle at CVS and other drug stores.

Let me tell you guys, after a couple months YES MONTHS of constant pebble poops and barely-made-it backend explosions, it felt so amazing to take a long, solid shit. It was like being sexed up in reverse it was so good. I had never felt so cleaned out and empty bowled in all my entire life.

So that’s my story. I maintain by taking a pill on occasion or eating the yogurt now that my system is back to regular. I will probably continue to make sure probiotics are part of my diet; and if you’re having troubs, they’re worth a try. DO talk to your doctor to make sure it’s not a sign of a bigger problem.

I will never underestimate the power of poop again. True story!

Star sighting: Adrien Brody at In-N-Out burger

Hot bodied Adrien Brody wraps his delicious abs around 37 today. I saw him earlier this week at In-N-Out burger. He was wearing shorts and has nice calves, too.

Wait, what? In-N-Out? Yes, I did just admit to eating at a fast food joint -- I'm not going to lie and say I was there doing research on fat people. I was the fat girl that day. Sometimes, you need to treat yourself.

The problem with restrictive diets is just that; they're restrictive! That's why I don't diet, I just try to eat a good diet. They're like totally different things. If I have a craving, say a double-double protein style, Imma gonna eats it. While I don't give in to every single desire each time I get the fancy, I will never be one of those bitches who are afraid to eat a non-trainer-approved food item. Fucking live a little!


*** * ***

For the December 2005 issue of Men's Health, the actor transformed his body from "scrawny to brawny." First of all, fuck, 2005 was a long ass time ago. Honestly...you're getting old. Luckily, it gets better with age if you work it.

Michael Mejia, a trainer and coauthor of Scrawny to Brawny, offers these two tips for success:

1. Don't Lift Too Much. "What you really need is less volume but more intensity," says Mejia. This strategy actually simplifies your workout with only four exercises every session.

2. Eat A Lot. To build new muscle, you need calories. "Guys don't eat nearly enough, says Mejia. "They're reluctant, rightfully so, about putting on body fat." To avoid that, "you must count calories," says Mejia. Figure out your body's optimal caloric intake, then add 300 to 500 calories to that total to determine how much you need to pack in every day.

The Scrawny to Brawny Workout: For the first three, do five sets of five reps. Rest no more than 2 minutes between sets. For the last exercise, do two or three sets of eight to 12 reps, as this targets smaller muscles in your core or shoulders.

Monday: Squat, barbell incline bench press, pullup, weighted situp
Wednesday: Hang clean and press, deadlift, dip, side-lying external rotation
Friday: Front squat, dumbbell bench press, bent-over row, back extension

If you don't know these moves, see detailed descriptions at Mens Health

Natch, what's a hot bitch without a little back door action? See the Brody booty

I'm supposed to be the pretty one

I have a problem with Sam Sparro. He's too damn good looking -- plus he's rockin' the pornstache, which for some reason is currently tickling my fancy. If we were dating, I'd totally get a complex. I'm supposed to be the pretty one!

Not that this is an actual, real life problem. He's certainly not blowing up my phone asking me out, nor did he give me his number to stalk, I mean, contact him.

While I've interviewed Sam and run into him a couple times in Hollywood -- he even bought me a drink at the El Ray -- something tells me we’d never work out.

The most obvious reason being I barely know him and yet I’m going on here like I'm assuming a relationship with a Grammy-nominated musician, when I'd be surprised if he remembered my name. Yah, I’m a creeper. That’s me in your bushes with the binoculars.

Beyond my creepery (a word I just made up), dating this dude would probably push every button on my insecurity panel.

That’s not to say my tricks are dogs, because they’re not (unless I ask them to assume the position). The thing is, I'm the pretty one.

I need a dude who lets me be just that. I don't consider myself an insecure person, but why lie? We all have our insecurities and being the hot boyfriend eradicates mine.

I'm willing to work though it, because this hot bitch right here meets my criteria. We're close to the same age (within 5 years), he can sing to me (big turn on, even if it's bad) and he's into his fitness.

On his crap days, "I go for a jog," Sam tells me. "It gets your head straight and pushes you physically."

John Legend does it doggy style

John Legend is helping me diversify! I've been taking a look back at my earlier posts and it looks like a white boy buffet. Perhaps this is a comment on the state of celebrity as well, but the funny thing is I tend to find myself attracted to those with darker features; hair, eyes and skin. It makes me do a double-take every time.

We can say we're attracted to all sorts of things, a smile, sense of humor or whatever bullcrap people dish out. We make a visual impression first. Fact.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A MATE?

Natch, I like my man to be fit.

I work out almost everyday," John says. "(I skipped it today because i was too tired!) But almost everyday. I have a trainer on the road with me. We box, lift weights and run."

My preference is also to be with guys closer to my own age.

John rubbed his chocolate stick all over 31 in December.

I also have a thing for guys who can sing to me. Check, check, check. Bring that doggy style on over here, John!

Pornstache: Ride it or razor it?

Y'all know I'm a big fan of the Chan.

Channing Tatum's penis is fantastic, he likes to take off his shirt and play with cock. What's not to like?

Possibly, the pornstache. I'm undecided. On one hand, I giggle when I think of it tickling my dark places. On the other hand...sorry that hand is currently busy as I think about that first thing some more.

Pornstache: Ride it or razor it?

More pics on popbytes.com

Celebrate yourself

Today is my 34th birthday. Rock on!

When I think about how far I've come since hitting rock bottom at 29 and deciding to be "better by 30" it almost makes my eyes produce liquid, all human-like. I've come a long way, baby.

I have every reason to celebrate on my special day -- and so do you on yours. Don't be one of those curmudgeons who can't just STFU and have a good time. Why sit life out and live on the sidelines; you are the main event!

Take your cue from self-obsessed Hollywood types (like me!) and make sure to announce the day with big plans. Let the world celebrate you, by celebrating yourself.

Tap into something that defines you and focus the event around whatever that is. Because I'm active, adventurous and like to try new things, this year's is "Wes' rockin' birthday: An indoor rock climbing adventure."

Being "better" isn't just physical; it can be mental and even spiritual. Celebrate yourself by actively finding ways to further develop and explore the elements that make you who you are.

What could you eat every day?

Pretty much every single day, I start off with a protein bar and then have a scrambled egg a little later in the morning. I try to eat every few hours. It keeps me fueled and full of energy, as I found myself lethargic after eating big meals -- or worse, I'd forget to eat and skip meals, leaving me running on empty.

So I eat the same damn thing every day. It may be repetitive and yes(!) somewhat bland, but I always know I'll be satisfied.

By nature I like to try new things, but even so there are comforts, the standbys, the go-to foods that I just can't do without on the daily. I know some of you nasty bitches will answer "booty" to today's headline; still I'm curious to know if there's something you could eat every day?

All hail the penis!

Ridiculously oversized phallus: Awesome or off-putting?

I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but I'm a major fan of the penis. Color me a fan of just about every size and shape, and especially my own. In fact just this morning, I was feeling the Monday blahs, so I gave myself a handjob. There's really nothing better than grabbing hold of a big throbber to start the day. If I could ride around on a giant penis (wooden or otherwise) through the middle of town with people cheering, my life's dream would essentially be fulfilled. I mean how do you top that experience, seriously.

Yesterday in Kawasaki, Japan, festival goers rode around on, carried, dragged, and otherwise transported their oversize phallus as part of the Kanamara Festival, or the Utamaro Festival, near Wakamiya Hachimangu Shrine.

The annual feritility festival, held traditionally in the cherry blossom season since the Edo era (1603-1868), is said to encourage fertility and bring harmony to married couples. In recent times the festival has raised awareness of AIDS prevention. While totally outrageous, the tradition encourages healthy, happy sex.

And you thought the Japanese were conservative. If only we could embrace such a thing here in the land of sexual freedom.

Let's all take a moment to celebrate and appreciate our sexual health today. Giant wang parade optional.

HNT: Cocky

Yah, you want this hot bitch right here.

One of the top traits people look for in a mate? Confidence. The top turn off? Being cocky (in attitude, cocky in the pants in a good thing). What's the difference? Let's get graphic:

Chart thanks to Dr. Dennis W. Neder

In looking at this chart, it seems some of the cocky man's traits can be confused with a shy guy. For example, I fidget with myself because I'm often uncomfortable, nervous or hyper. I don't like looking at people in the eye all the time; not because I don't want to look at people but because there's a fine line between making eye contact and the unbreakable gaze of a homicidal maniac. Holding a stare-down too long creeps me out.

Point is, cocky may be subjective. It is especially difficult to figure out whether someone is being playfully self-involved (you know you want this) or if they're trippin' on the real.

I tend to find that a cocky attitude is generally fake, an attempt by an insecure person to appear confident. This is usually true, unless they're a delusional douche. Then it's a whole different kind of cocky, and makes them an asshole. There are also people who are both, like the entire cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

Sometimes, we are all the asshole. Everybody says and does stuff that potentially casts a judgment on their character. I'm constantly worried that something I do or say will be taken the wrong way. I'm kind of a jerk-off and generally speak in jest about any given situation. I just can't take things very seriously, but I certainly don't want to come across like a jerk.

The real challenge is being confident enough to just be yourself, and fuck all else.

When I'm really down on myself and filled with doubt, I do something amazingly simple, cocky and douche-like. I say to myself: Wes, you're fucking awesome.

It's true!


Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

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