Fitness: Grab some balls

Dodgeball: It’s not just for middle school kids! True story. Don’t believe me? Ask Christopher Showerman.

If you don’t recognize this hot bitch, he looks better as George of the Jungle:

Big and dumb. I’m all about it. I’m also all about trying new activities, so I joined the VGL (Varsity Gay League) for open gym dodgeball in WeHo Tuesday night. Though I got up in full gear, I looked less like jungle boy in a dodgeball tee and more like this.

While I hit the gym like a maniac, I don’t consider myself very athletic. Group sports are daunting because even the gays have their jock types who yell and run hard and play well and make everybody else look like girly boys. It takes a lot to man up and get in the game. I dare you to challenge yourself and jump in. Let go of all those childhood taunts and give it a go! There are all sorts of community activities (gay, straight or mixed) that get people of all ages together in a unique bonding experience. DO IT! You’ll be better for it — and might even meet a hot guy. Here’s how it plays out:

YOU: Dude, I suck at this game!
HOT JOCK: You do! But you’ll get the hang of it!
YOU: Can you show me some of your special moves?
HOT JOCK: Meet me in the locker room!

Done and done. What are you waiting for? Go grab some balls!

SOMETIMES GOOD ADVICE BACKFIRES

I have often suggested that one way to brighten your day is to compliment a complete stranger. It makes them feel good, while making YOU feel good in return. Yesterday, I was in the elevator with a fine looking gentleman who was obviously on his way to an interview; nice clothes, freshly shaved, hair done, and some kind of cologne in full effect (not overpowering)

"You smell good!" I said.

He stared back like I had grown a second, tiny mutant head. The ding went off on my floor and I exited. I took my own advice and it totally backfired. I did not feel better for it in that moment, until the voice of my ego boomed inside my head: Fuck that that smelly bitch.

My ex-boyfriend always smiled. Genuinely. Even in the face of a total bitchy queen giving him shade. Guess which one looked like an asshole? Not the guy smiling.

Fitness: Austin Nichols scores one for the jocks

Austin Nichols, the cutie from The Day After Tomorrow, turns 31 this week. Austin was also a competitive water skier, representing the U.S. Junior Water Ski Team and skied in the Junior U.S. Masters Championships twice. Fucking overachievers!

When I was a kid, my parents forced me into sports and I hated every second of it. I was nowhere near the athlete Austin is, or even as good as my little brother -- who was a natural (he's now training to be a fire fighter). Anychildhoodresentment, even though I wasn't a competitive anything it still gave me skills and some sense of coordination. When I was a little older, I started calling the shots when it came to my activities, choosing dance and gymnastics instead. I was better at those than baseball and soccer. Not much, but it was still an improvement, especially for my self-esteem.

All that sports training as a kid also taught me many skills and helped me a great deal later in life when it dawned upon me that I could fight the ravages of time (or at least look really, really good) by being as fit as humanly possible.

Get on the field -- and get your kids out there too! You never know, they may just become a famous actor! Or, wait... whatever. You get what I'm saying. Play ball!

Fitness: Jeffrey Dean Morgan does it outside the gym

Cute overload!!! Jeffrey Dean Morgan and a puppy. Because, Friday. Also, the studly animal lover and 'Watchmen' star cuddles 45 today.

Although he's known as a gentle giant, he had a rather brutal fight scene in the classic comic book come to life. When he was called on to train earlier than he thought, they got creative with his workouts outside the gym (as ever, a reminder to expand your horizons. Try something new!):

“We weren’t supposed to be starting the movie for another four months and I was going to go to Hawaii to celebrate (being cast). Then I got a call to say we were starting.

"So I went to an airport hangar in Los Angeles and there was a three-ton tractor tire in the middle of the building and they asked me to move it from one side of the building to the other ... without rolling it! I asked if they were insane!

"This was my introduction to the new workout theory! Where’s the gym? It was very crazy, a lot of insane techniques to get in shape. I did that every day in LA for a month and a half. I couldn’t walk and I hated it.

"Then I went up to Vancouver and the fight training started and that’s when I started having fun. Somehow in the previous month and a half I had gotten into shape and I was able to move a little bit.

"Fight training was a month of throwing proper punches, really. Punches are much more different in film than they are in the real world. So there was a lot of strictly learning how to fight for the camera. I worked very closely with the stunt double and we did lots of boxing and I did knife training and then I went on to the shooting range and fired guns. I also did a little bit of taekwondo.

"Then once I started to do the choreography, that was when all the fun really started. It was like a dance but it was a violent dance."

Birthday Boys: How James McAvoy got buff

Wanted man James McAvoy turns 32 today. To get ripped for Wanted, McAvoy said his eight week fitness plan "knocked seven colours of shit" out of him. Finally ! A man who speaks with pure elegance. I swoon.

His trainer, Glenn Chapman, claims any body can get fit with interval training. Interval training focuses on building fast intensive workouts into a circuit training routine. Exercise should include speed training, strength training and agility training.

A suggested circuit:
Press-ups
Half-sits
Tuck jumps
Clap press-ups
Sit-ups with twist
Squat thrusts
Dips
Crunches
Bench Step-ups or Burpees
Close arm press-ups
Dorsal raises
Star jumps

Natch, OMG blog has him nekked.

Fitness: Dip baby, dip

Flattery will get you everywhere with me. A Twitter buddy commented on my icon, specifically my triceps -- excuse me -- my "damn sexy triceps." I'm not bragging I just wanted to quote him accurately.

Then he asked if I had any tips. Sure!

The move you can do anywhere is the classic "dip." All you do is find a chair, bed, stairs, whatever, and step in front of it with your legs feet placed about hip width apart on the floor. Then you bend your elbows to a 90 degree angle and straighten back to the starting position. Easy!

Fit's Tip: Don't allow your neck to sink and your ears to fall close to your shoulders. Also, straighten your legs as you get stronger, this will make the exercise harder.

The main exercise I've done are simple triceps extensions on a machine. This is what built up the muscle and gave me a well-defined shape. Although, I still think I have toothpick arms. It has taken me a long time to just accept me for me, skinny ass and all (still a work in progress). I will never be one of those massive body builder types. I'm tall and lean with a thin frame, so instead of bitching about a body I can never have, I've learned to compensate by making sure any (baby-sized) muscles I do have are sculpted to f*ing perfection. Even small bumps look good if they have a really nice shape.

It's not easy being so vain, you guys. Please keep the compliments coming. They're like oxygen to me!

Eatery: Celeb Fit Club's Dr. Ian Smith busts biggest diet myth

Cupcake breakfast for everyone! I talk to Dr. Ian Smith from Celebrity Fit Club about his new book, Eat, the biggest diet myth and why it's ok to have a cupcake for breakfast.

Someday, I vow to do an interview in which I don't lead by saying "uhm." It's a goal.

Lifestyle: 7 ways to protect your wallet

Hold on to your man bag, Crissy! Cristiano Ronaldo knows you gotta keep a grip, because some low class bitch is out there waiting to steal your purse! I suppose being famous can make you more of a target -- I was at a party once where RuPaul told me all about her doppelganger, who had been arrested several times; once for trying to get in 6 Flags for free. ("Incarceration obviously isn't a deterrent!" Ru said).

In a total dad moment, my father forwarded me this email marked urgent. If you dad doesn't use email, you can thank Papa Fergie for these tips:

1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED."

2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.

3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not have a PO Box, use your work address.Never have your SS# printed on your checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have It printed, anyone can get it.

4. Place the contents of your wallet on photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place.

5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them.

6. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.

IMPORTANT NUMBERS (CREDIT REPORTING AGENCIES)

1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285 1-800-525-6285

2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742 1-888-397-3742

3.) Trans Union : 1-800-680 7289 1-800-680 7289

4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271 1-800-269-0271

Fitness: Geek out on Brad Goreski

Geeks are hot! Brad Goreski from The Rachael Zwhateverthefuckhernameis Project, you guys. I rest my case.

The modern-day nerd is no longer the scrawny wimp of days past. Part of this has to do with the explosion of hand-held technology and a generation of kids growing up with advanced computer skills as part of their common knowledge. We have more information at our fingertips than ever before. The web encourages us all to be nerds. Everyone is kind of a geek these days, even it's a fashion geek.

The modern geek | Changing the stereotype: The day of duck-taped glasses, suspenders and pocket-protectors are quickly fading away. Its getting harder to pick the geeks out of the crowd. Welcome to the day of the modern geek where the technically savvy not only embody intelligence but display an elegant blend of style and personality.

See more hot guys in glasses

Health: Does Echinacea Cure the Common Cold?

Here's the headline: "Echinacea for a cold? Eh, don't bother, study concludes" (Yes, that's the actual headline. Amazing writing, LA Times!)

Here’s what the study actually concluded, as stated in the article itself: "This dose regimen of the echinacea formulation did not have a large effect on the course of the common cold, compared with either blinded placebo or no pills. However, the trends were in the direction of benefit, amounting to an average half-day reduction in the duration of a weeklong [sic] cold, or an approximate 10% reduction in overall severity."

I'm not suggesting a 10% anything is something awesome. Although supposedly that is also the percent of the population that is gay. The two subjects are not related. Things pop into my head and I type them. Anyways, a half-day reduction sounds pretty damn good to me when I'm sick and I resent the way many health matters are often presented in a conflicting manner. I don't need slap-dash writeup with wry innuendos. That's my job as an entertainment reporter!

**UPDATE** My friend (who is a pharmacist) has done what the LA Times failed to do (or I failed to comprehend) and put the study in prospective. Here's what he had to say:

"There is the placebo effect(this is in studies patients are giving sugar pills and they report less symptoms), but no it does not help. By the time someone realizes they have the cold they are well into the symptoms and the cycle of the cold is almost over just as the person started taking these supplements. In medicine if a patient thinks they are getting better because of something they took there is no disputing that to them."

While I've certainly heard of the "placebo effect," I had always written it off as people who were immediately cured once they were told they were given medicine. Kind of like when a kid gets a kiss on a boo-boo. I had never realized there was a calculable, well, EFFECT. So, yah. I'm dumb!

Here's a BETTER headline, without snark: "Echinacea Offers No More Than Placebo Effect"

Save your money, get some rest, and have some chicken soup!

Lifestyle: Spring Cleaning!

Sometimes things get out of control. If you're lazy like me, or have kids or whatever your excuse for clutter may be (I use being lazy as a valid excuse as any other), there are times when it gets so bad we have to either break down and actually clean shit up -- or become completely overwhelmed and just give up, living the rest of our lives in our own filth. Yah, bitches, the above picture is indeed my own room. Gross. Or, it WAS, until I took an entire damn day to clear my clutter and makeover my bedroom situation.

Here are a few helpful hints by hipster designers The Novogratz (who I had the chance to interview over at Celebuzz about their super awesome 50,000 school makeover)

* Let go of the past. Reduce clutter in those junk drawers and storage closets by recycling old mobile phones or cameras.

* If you’re about to do some heavy-duty cleaning, prep with baking soda or coarse salt. A lot of cleaners are toxic, and that just sounds like more drama than we can handle.

* why not make a checklist of all those forgetful hard-to-reach spaces?: Under the fridge, light fixtures, and underneath your countertop appliances.

* Clean multiple surfaces with Windex® Multi-Surface Vinegar and get those chores done fast so you can go out and play!

* Rid cabinets of expired foods and perishables

* Get rid of any magazines older than three months.

* Clean out those dresser drawers and closets and donate anything you haven’t worn in a year to a thrift store.

* Save energy and shut down appliances -- and unplug them -- when finished using.

Steal My Beauty: Hugo WINS!!!

Thanks to all those who entered my first ever giveaway! I had so much fun with it that I will be certain to do another one soon. In this round, everyone was assigned a number. The digits were entered into a random number generator and a winner was selected by impartial computer. Total geek shit, I love it. Hugo is the winner!

Hugo said...
I like this.
it seems like something i would use!

In Loving Memory

My grandfather has passed away.

I'm actually a little too sad right now to write anything about him, because it will just make me even more sad that he's gone. I'm not at that stage yet, I'm actually kinda pissed about the whole thing to be honest. Besides, even as a professional writer, there are just some things I can't put into words. I'd like to tell you about my him, but we'll have to save that for another time.

You never know when somebody is gonna get called up to heaven. It can be devastating to lose a loved one when there is so much left unsaid. Tell them all those things NOW because if you wait it will be too late. Call your mom, your grandma, somebody you hold in your heart, to tell them they're special. Yes, it sounds supremely cheesy, but supreme cheese is super delicious!

A few years ago, when I'd gotten myself cleaned up, no longer clinging to my party boy ways and finally in stable enough shape to travel back home to Ohio, I was flat broke and had nothing to get as a birthday gift for my dad, grandfather and younger brother -- as they all have birthdays in the month of February. Instead, I wrote them an essay detailing how they've influenced me and are a part of my life each and every day. It totally made them cry. Then I cried, and we all cried. Point is, they know how I feel. Not only did I get to say the things I wanted to say, but it changed the dynamic. Now we always say "I love you" when we talk to each other. It makes a difference.

I feel really fortunate that I have such a good relationship with Ol' Fergie, I'd just seen him on his 80th birthday and spoken to him even more recently on the phone.

Goodbye, grandpa. You will be missed but never forgotten!

Lifestyle: Get over it

Whenever somebody gets all pissy about something stupid, which is often, I'm all like, "Eh, they'll get over it." If they don't, it's still not really my problem.

Marco "Marc" Silcock (left) and Danny Miller (right) are British actors who work with the UK's Stonewall organization. They're not gay, but they don't care if you are.

Obviously we should accept others in the world and stuff, but the message goes well beyond sexuality. Stop carrying around all that gross emotional baggage. Get over it!

Health: Charlie Sheen is not winning

What in the crackhead hell? Charlie Sheen is the last person on earth I would have suspected had body. This is not what I expected to see under those hideous Hawaiian shirts.

This is exactly why it is pointless to workout only to achieve a specific body goal. We all know Charlie is a walking cesspool of drugs and porn star germs. The exterior may look impressive for a man his age but nobody I know would hit that (took a Facebook poll).

People are often wrapped up in the result rather than the process, especially physically. One can look amazing all the while literally killing themselves from the inside out. Reasonable, boring shit will deliver a truly healthy body, not just a good looking one.

Train safely, without drugs
Eat a healthy diet
Get plenty of rest
Set realistic goals
Get training advice from reliable professionals
Play safely using protective gear
Talk with your doc about health & nutrition, how to prevent injuries and gain strength safely

Lifestyle: Rob Lowe has no regrets

WELCOME TO BETTER BY 40! Just kidding, April Fools. At 47, Rob Lowe is still a fine fucker, though.

Robbie tells Vanity Fair that despite a rocky patch following his 80s stardom that landed him in rehab, he has no regrets. "The Brat Pack is timeless," Lowe says. "We should all be so lucky in our lives to create things that we’re still talking about 25 years later."

Here's the thing, even when being focused on my health and fitness and stuff, I still do idiot immature shit all the damn time. (today is sweary blog day)

You're going to fuck up, you're going to make mistakes, you're not going to be perfect. Even the most fucked up people say they'd do it all over again. It helps to be a gazillionaire but whatever. The reason is -- BECAUSE THEY LEARNED SOMETHING. They are no longer in that place, which is when you can look back without regret.

Whatever mistakes we made got us to this place, right now. Accept them and move forward. What ever dumb thing we did today or are involved in right now, if we're working toward self-improvement we can always say; I've grown since then. I'm better now.