Relationships: I'd like to propose to this guy

I know I'm a little late to the party with this one, but I swear I was one of the first people to catch on to this viral gem -- I showed it off to people during LA Pride, so there.

Anyways, this due posted a video of his uber-gay 9-year-old self, which is uber-AWESOME and he's a loud and proud queen Mary and I want to marry him. Also, he grew up to be pretty damn hot. Work it out, bitch!

ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER '91! from Robert Jeffrey on Vimeo.

There's an ongoing battle in the gay community: "fems" versus "masculine" bitches, when both types obviously suck dick. This is especially prevalent in online ads, in which guys promote how straight they almost are and how other "gay" gays totally turn them of. In a raging debate over at BoyCulture, one commenter put it best: "...if you have to call yourself nice, you're not, and if you have to call yourself masculine, you're probably not. Or rather, you're probably fake-masculine and so insecure about it you can't stand people who don't conform to the idea of masculinity you're trying to project."

There are all types of gays -- and many who NATURALLY do not appear "gay" gay. You'd never know based on their mannerisms, clothing or taste in music, but it doesn't make them any less of a god damn fag. The ones I've met, even though they can choose to hide it, absolutely do not. They're completely out, and they don't discriminate against the more flamboyant types. We should all be so lucky to embrace our inner queer and let our rainbow flags fly high!

Health: Cory Monteith turned his shit around

Glee man-boy Cory Monteith almost didn't become one of the most famous TV stars on the planet because he had serious drug problems. "I was out of control," he says. The now 29-year-old (who, I'm sure, will be even BETTER by 30) says he would do "Anything and everything, as much as possible. I had a serious problem."

His mother and friends staged an intervention when he was 19.

"That’s when I first went to rehab. I did the stint but then went back to doing exactly what I left off doing." Finally, a family member caught him stealing money and gave him an ultimatum: Get clean or deal with the cops.

To "those people who might give up," he says, "get real about what you want and go after it. If I can, anyone can."

(NOTE: read the "about" sidebar to the right to fully understand why this touches my heart, like really REALLY hard. I don't want to be a famous actor, but it gives me hope that all my hopes and dreams for the future will come to be now that I'm off the shit and able to go after it)

YEEAAHHH!

Always remember, no matter what your social status or bicep size (thanks, Dwayne Johnson, for the sudden feeling of inadequacy) life is meant for living. Lighten up a little. Have some fun.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Fitness: Stephen Moyer Looks Hotter Now

41-year-old Stephen Moyer is currently filming the fourth season of HBO's True Blood, looking better than ever. The Men's Health cover boy reveals how he got his shit in shape.

"I find that I don't go at it if I don't have someone making me," he says. "You'd be amazed at how quickly I let it all go."

-Having a personal trainer or a workout buddy makes you accountable and pushes you harder.

"I didn't want my kids to look back at the show in 20 years' time and go, " 'Who's that slobby git? Oh, it's you, Dad.'"

-Vanity is a great motivator

FREQUENCY
Eat seven times a day, he says; just don't eat huge amounts. If you do overeat on occasion, be sure to work it off in the gym later.

MINDSET
That means decoupling food from your mood so your eating becomes analytical, not emotional. Moyer has become good at this. "I certainly act out in other ways, but I don't think eating is one of them," he says.

SNACK
"I started a habit of eating an apple, a bit of cheese, and some almonds together. Like in Ratatouille, where the rat eats the cheese and goes, 'Mmm.' Then he eats the fruit: 'Mmm.' Then he eats them together and these fireworks go off in his head. Trust me: apple, cheese, almonds. It's bloody good."

CONVENIENCE MEAL
For Moyer it's chili, a dish you can easily make yourself. "Chop a bit of garlic, fry it in a pan, throw some onion in there, and instead of ground beef, put in ground turkey," he says. "Get it brown, pour in a tin of tomatoes, add salt and pepper, let it sit for 20 minutes. It's as simple as that. And it's great."

COOKING TECHNIQUE
"If you go to Japanese restaurants, they use big bamboo steamers to cook their fish," he says. "I do the same, but instead of steaming the fish straight on the bamboo, I put a piece of fish onto a plate inside the steamer. Put ginger on top and a few drops of soy sauce. Steam for 10 minutes, and it comes out unbelievable. It's so simple, it's incredibly healthy, and it tastes great. Ginger does things to food without adding fat."

AB EXERCISES:
Kneeling Cable Crunch
Incline Reverse Crunch
Reverse Crunches
Swiss-Ball Crunch
Cycling Russian Twist
Medicine Ball Slam
Medicine Ball V-Up

Survival Tip: Arrive Early

RIP Ryan Dunn

This is just sad. After tweeting this photo (supposedly drinking 3 shots and 3 beers that night) Jackass Ryan Dunn drove his Porsche into a tree, killing himself and his passenger in a fiery crash.

I don't want to jump to conclusions or judge people harshly, especially because that is hurtful to their grieving family members, but this should be a huge warning to everyone. Don't drink and drive. EVER. That's why God invented cabs. And sober friends.

Awhile ago, some friends and I were heading home after hitting the bars. Guess what? We ran into a house. Everybody was fine, but the car was totaled. I wasn't driving, but it was still the single dumbest thing I've ever done. It changed my relationship with the friend who was the driver after that, as he felt tremendous guilt and I no longer trusted his judgment. We eventually drifted apart...

When I hear of horrible news like this, I know how easy it is to make a dumb mistake and consider myself extremely lucky. Before judging others or speaking ill of them, I usually remember that I'm just as big of an idiot.

I do believe that everyone is an example -- of what to do and what NOT to do. I know I'm both. What are you?

UPDATE: Ryan's blood alcohol level was found to be over twice the legal limit at the time of the crash.

10 CONFESSIONS

I know y'all are used to seeing me flash my manly bits around here, but our topic requires a more undercover look. These are my deep dark confessions.

Okay, they're not that deep. Or dark. Or interesting!

Enjoy..?

10. I've always had a cat, for as long as I can remember. The most I've had living with me at one time is five cats, but only three of them were mine. (I only have one now, her name is Chaos...I'm a crazy cat lady, basically).

9. One day I aspire to be a dirty old perv. I'm pretty much just waiting for the old age thing to set in. Check back in 50 years.

8. I've never traded in a car. (Here's why)

7. I've tried to quit completely, but I still smoke. It's a battle, okay?!? (Note: I haven't had one all day)

6. I tell different people my tattoo means different things depending on my mood.

5. I can't reject guys who hit on me. If I'm not interested in someone I say I have a boyfriend.

4. I secretly want a boyfriend so #5 won't be a lie. It's not that I want a boyfriend so much as that I dislike telling people things that are not true.

3. I always put things off but when I finally get to them it takes like 5 minutes, creating needless anxiety.

2. My favorite TV shows are aimed at 13 year olds. Glee, American Idol,

1. I once hit a kid on a bike in a parking lot, but he lived.

Gimme Shemar more of that!

shemar Moore, yes please. Summer is almost here, you guys! That means more hot bitches on the beach, especially if you live near a beach.

3 Summer Survival Tips:
-Sunscreen. Use SPF 30 or higher and avoid oxybenzone (here's why)
-Sandals. Buy a new pair (or win them). Today is national flip-flop day, FYI
-Safe sex. You don't want sand -- or anything else -- in there. (Recommended: Crown Condoms)

Fitness: Good job, Turtle!

To be completely honest, I've never paid attention to Jerry Ferrara before. I don't watch his show 'Entourage,' but I guess he plays some kind of Turtle? I can sort of see the resemblance in the first picture.

Well, they're going to have to come up with a new nickname, because bitch lost weight!

Supposedly he has taken up hiking in Runyan Canyon (although I've never seen him there...not that I hide out in the bushes cruising for gay sex or anything) and has changed his eating habits, trading burgers and fries for tofu, fresh organic fruit and vegetables.

That will do Turtle, that will do.

Lifestyle: God vs. Gay

"As a practicing Roman Catholic, I have always regarded my personal spiritual beliefs, and those of others, as their own private business which I don't discuss. I am not in favour of any organised religion's proscriptions on people's choice of life. These have all too often been used throughout history to damn people to an existence in misery, not something which is the core tenet of any world religion. Ultimately, only God and you know whether or not you have tried to live to the best of your abilities, no one else has the right to judge. Personally, I always obey the Law and treat strangers and friends alike as I would wish to be treated myself. I struggle with those who would wish to impose their selfish view of life onto me, but forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity, and nobody said it would be easy."

-James in London

HAPPY PRIDE!

This weekend is LA Pride. Ladies welcome. Something I've noticed is that -- gay men especially -- close themselves off from every other walk of life. We get comfortable in our own environment and sort of live in a gay bubble. As much as I encourage EVERYONE to come celebrate with us at Pride, I equally encourage my gays to mingle with the rest of the world.

Survival tip: Make friends with lots of different people. You'll be better because of it.

Fitness: WTF Happened to Taylor Lautner?

Taylor Lautner has shrunk back down to pubescent boy size. Sad face! Here’s the lesson: You can fucking kill yourself to get the physical results you want (like a small frame transformed into a larger one), but you’ll always be fighting it. You’re not a movie star like Taylor and you don’t need to bulk up (or slim down) to make money.

Be yourself. Accept your body type for what it is and get over it already!

That’s NOT to say we can’t make self-improvements, because duh. Given the choice I think most would probably prefer a 6-pack — and even with his weight loss there is little doubt TLaut lost his lickable tummy (see the moves celeb trainer Jordan Yuam uses to whip the Twilight twink into shape).

Remember, you can diet and exercise, but you can’t fight genetics. Just be the best YOU possible.

Fitness: Bob Harper is a poser

This bitch. I'd get bendy with Bob Harper any day! Truth Time: I'd force feed myself to the point of morbid obesity just to get Bob Harper's attention. Then, while helping me lose the weight and take control of my life, we'd inexplicably fall in love and he'd ask me to be his man bride. All on national TV of course.

While I'm searching for the ice cream with the most calories, Bob offers up 5 Tips (technically 4 tips and one self-promotional mention) to Achieving Your Dream Beach Body.

1. Hydration is key to supporting weight loss and can even help support your metabolism. It also gives you that full feeling.

2. Eat Fiber. I recommend people get at least 30 grams of fiber in their daily diet.

3. Don’t skip breakfast! So many people try to skip breakfast thinking that they could lose weight. That is the worst mistake you can make. Start your day with a bowl of oatmeal, and you will get your body on the right track right from the start.

4. Say ‘No’ to Fast Food. Greatly reduce or eliminate fast food and fried food. Those empty calories will only add up around your waist.

5. Try Smart Weight Loss (www.bobharpersmartsuccess.com). My formula could give you that extra little boost you are looking for.

MONDAY AGAIN?!?

Lifestyle: Don't H8 on Damien Fahey

Damien Fahey hits full stride at 31 today. Looking good for a good cause! If you haven't had yours done yet (and enjoyed the benefits of PhotoShop), hit up NoH8 on Facebook -- they organize photo shoots across the country so you can add your face to the silent protest against anti-gay marriage laws.

Sex: I'd totally do Zombie Boy

I don't care. This shit is hot right here. Zombie Boy has transformed his body art into a career as a model and sideshow freak. He's totally turning me on!

What makes somebody drastically modify their body in such a drastic fashion? Is bodybuilding any different? I know, that's a pretty huge jump. Or is it? I only feel like writing questions today, okay?

Because I have a thing for obviously damaged people (I mean that in a beautiful, artistic way), I've known and lusted over about Zombie Boy ever since he was profiled in Bizarre Mag back in the day. In interviews, he comes across like somebody who just sort of woke up one day and was like, why the fuck not? The attention he gets from it may not have played a part in his original decision, but it has certainly paid off.

I was very excited to see him working fashion looks, hitting the runway and even appearing alongside Lady Gaga in one of her videos. He's obviously made a choice. This is his path. Who the hell has the right to judge or say whatever (even if they don't want to do the bone dance with him). Rock the fuck on, Zombie Boy. Imagine if everyone has such confidence in their body image.