Happy Halloween!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 

-The Hunter and The Wolf 

xo

Use proper grammar, appear less stupid

Lifestyle: Just make it sexy

Halloween is the one night a year when you can dress up like a total slut and nobody can say anything about it.

What are these guys, Homo Depot workers? Gay Design Duo? Duh, they're sexy construction workers. Make it sexy. Make it super gay!

Y'all know I love Halloween, so this year was no exception in the costume department. I have a custom made wolf (woof!) outfit, so I'm going as the escaped gray wolf from Zanesville, OH.

I escaped because I'm sassy.

Natch, the costume is minimal. Black boots, furry man panties, a wolf headdress. I have ears and a tail, so duh, I'm a sexy gay wolf (woof!)!!!

The reason I love this holiday is because it lets people lose themselves in a character, let all their inhibitions out, be wild, go crazy; to make it sexy. If only we could be so comfortable in our regular day clothes.

Who are the two hottest bitches in Hollywood?

Besides me, there are some other hot bitches who live in Hollywood. It may be hard to believe, but that's a true story!

A recent poll of 2000 men and woman has revealed the two most envied bodies in the world. The results are in the new issue of Fitness but I'll just tell you. It's Jennifer Aniston and Will Smith. 

Most women want a body like Aniston's and most men want their mates to have her shape. Smith's physique is the type that 37% of guys want most, and 37% of women wish their husbands or boyfriends had Will's build.

Neither one is super crazy muscular or overly skinny or really much beyond slim, well defined bodies. They seem pretty natural. They're pretty normal. They're attainable.

That's good news, everybody! It means the average person is in the game. I guess what I'm saying is, it doesn't really matter who the hottest person in Hollywood is, because you can be even hotter.

FUCK YOUR SCHEDULE

The hardest part about doing stuff is finding the time to do it. There's already a bunch of shit we have to do over the course of the day that takes up so much damn time!

Recently, I've taken on more and more activities so that I can be social and get out more -- both kickball and dodgeball this season -- plus I'm working on a side project (TV show, why not? It's Hollywood) with some friends of mine and I also have a healthy sex life to maintain, so my free time gotten slighter and slighter.

That's kind of where writing this blog comes in. When I have free time. That's why it has never been as popular as I'd like, because its inconsistent and all over the place. There isn't much focus. So fuck my schedule. Every Tuesday night, I'm making time to write some blogs and schedule them for the week. Every Tuesday! Nothing can get in the way of that, no other plans or commitments, even though dodgeball is from 8-9 (or alternately 9-10).

This is The Plan. I've always liked making lists, formulating a plan. Those plans often fall through and my lists go unchecked, but dammit I try. I can't complain about stuff, I just have to do it. Commit. Make the time; fuck your schedule.

Manly reminder: touch yourself

This is a very. very serious issue, you guys. TOUCH YOURSELF! Down there. In the dark places. It's is good for your health. And stuff. Since everything is better with a buddy, I highly suggest getting a friend to help. While early detection is key, guess what also helps fight man cancer? Prostate rubs. True story!

Wait, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

How to fight global warming

Please stay tuned for a very important message from Wilson Bethel about global warming.

This has been brought to you by the CW.

This bitch! Carlos Freire's 'simple' workout secret

Carlos Freire is a hot bodied bitch. Fuck this whore! I mean literally. That would be hot.

"My routine is very simple," he says. "I work out every day an hour at the gym with weights, but also I'm frequently doing different sports." 

Carlos had genetics on his side, the lucky bastard. But he's consistent in his routine. It's been a lifelong journey to hotness.

"When I was younger, I was an active child, always doing some sport, I did swimming, judo, soccer and living in the beach, so I always had an athletic body, but skinny. Then when I was 15 I started working out to get more muscle mass. So, until now I tried to keep my body always like that, strong and athletic. So it's good for everything, my job, health and to do any sport."

Lutz do this HARD

Because everybody works out shirtless, Twilight stud Kellan Lutz takes us through his routine. He plays Poseidon in the upcoming movie Immortals, telling Men’s Health how’s he preparing his body for the role:

"I like to wake up with the sun around 6:30. I’ll just go for a run, drop and do some push-ups, run some more, do lunges, grab the rings, and do pull-ups."

How dedicated are you? Is it worth it? Would you try something new for a week just to see if you can handle it? These are questions I often ask myself and the answers in my head are usually very different from the reality that plays out in real life. I do feel somewhat dedicated, at least in terms of being consistent -- and the results are certainly worth it. Yet I'm also extremely lazy and will only put in the absolutely minimum amount of effort. Getting up at 6:30 to workout? Fuck off.

Still, I find myself wishing I did have a little more motivation in the mornings. As ever, I give myself the minimal amount of time to get ready because I want to stay in bed until the last possible second. The weird thing is, I'm not even sleeping. I'm just laying there thinking how I want to rest, or wondering how much time I have left until I absolutely have to get up and get ready. Almost every morning, my body wakes up at about 7-7:30. It says "I have to pee, bitch!" and so I get up to use the restroom -- and then immediately after shaking it off I flop right back down in bed. Not sleeping and resetting my alarm for an extra 10 minutes of non-sleep. I have no idea why I can't just get the fuck up.

Over the course of the next week, I'm challenging myself to get up and stay up once I awake. To do a set of push-ups and calf raises, then shower, pack a lunch and get ready for work. Half the time I throw on a hat and buy a $10 salad when I could easily save money and look more professional.

This always makes me smile

Every single time I think of this, it brings a smile to my face. Life got you down? You can't stop to wallow in self pity. Just keep swimming.

 

Oh, how many times I've wanted to roll up in a ball and make the world go away. Guess what? It doesn't work. The world keeps on going, so you've got to keep moving forward. Just keep swimming! 

Why fit in?

This is so true. Why fit in? When I was growing up, all I wanted to do was fit in. Now it's the last thing I want to do. I'm not in the business of flying under the radar. Give me all your attentions please. Be you. Be unique. Be noticed.

So about those bunny ears

I promised to explain the bunny ears. So here's the story... 

Several months ago, I joined the Varsity Gay League so I could hang out with my fellow homos outside the bars. Honestly, the social life of the average gay man - myself included - revolves around the club scene and it just gets fucking tired. I've been shaking my hot shit on the dance hall floor since I was 16 (I'd sneak in) and all that is the same thing over and over again. It's like watching Jersey Shore, every episode they yell and fuck and fight and get annoyingly drunk and then yell even louder and fight off balance and fuck sloppily. After awhile you're like, 'that's gross.'

Maybe you're wondering why it has to be a GAY league and why, if I was bored with the scene, I would continue to seek out homosexuals. That's easy. I don't happen to know a bunch of straight people, especially straight guys, other than professionally. Which I'd like to change, and would certainly welcome the opportunity to hang with the breeders in some type of social capacity. If such a group exists, they didn't happen to invite me to join via Facebook and plan a super cool Paintball event where I took a round in the gut and lived to tell the tale.


I have since participated in laser tag, capture the flag, dodgeball, and most recently kick ball. At first, I was a bit timid and didn't want to overextend myself or get hurt, especially not in my beautiful face! By this point, I'm more comfortable and jump into it a bit more. When my buddy asked me to play for the Dust Bunnies, I jumped at the chance. Thanks to soccer as a kid, I was pretty good, and what's more I caught a few fly balls and got those runners out too. I was good!


While I've never been shy, I wouldn't have found myself diving in with such vigor all those months ago. In the beginning, when I didn't know many people playing in these leagues, it was a little difficult to mingle with the group. I either brought a friend or went with someone I knew from the league already. Now I've become far more confidant in my abilities on the playing field, which has made me more outgoing with the other guys.

A teammate brought bunny ears, and I was the only one willing to wear them. Go figure.

RIP Steve Jobs: Most inspiring quotes

Steve Jobs died today. If you don't know who this guy is, take the closest Apple product and beat yourself with it. There is little doubt that he ushered in a major change in technology. He was innovative and inspirational. Here are some of his best quotes. RIP Steve!

"Your time is limited. Don't waste it living someone else's life."

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition; they somehow already know what you want to become."

"My job is to not be easy on people. My job is to make them better."

"You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new."

"I want to put a ding in the universe."

“We don’t get a chance to do that many things and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life."

"Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected."

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower."


“I’m sorry, it’s true. Having children really changes your view on these things. We’re born, we live for a brief instant, and we die. It's been happening for a long time. Technology is not changing it much -- if at all."

Break the Silence About HIV

This video is in memory of my friend, Nicholas DeHaan. 

Hold my balls and flex this

Somehow, I feel like I've done this exercise before...

Move over, Shake Weight! The Free Flexor is here to steal your thunder. After watching the soft core gay porn-ish commercial, it seems that if this thing was effective then every guy in the universe would already have Hugh Jackman arms.




In some ways I'm a typical consumer. Something new? I WANT IT. No matter how ridiculous it looks, the "scientific evidence" forces me to believe their claims are true. The only reason I haven't purchased every single fitness product as seen on TV is because my cheapness outweighs my gullibility.

Then I think about what I've managed to accomplish over the years and it wasn't because of some trendy new machine or fad diet or drugs or even supplements. It was just doing the work consistently. I made over my body into something I'm proud of when I look in the mirror, or when a buddy snaps a fun pic in the park.

I'll explain the bunny ears later.

Blue shirt monday: Stomp out bullying

This is national anti-bullying month and you were supposed to wear a blue shirt today to show solidarity to stop bullying. How did you do? Did you know this was a thing?

Sure, I was picked on in school sometimes, but I never let it get to me. I also didn't let people push me around, nor did I simply sit there and take it. 

You know how to stop bullying? Fight back.

Anybody in physical danger has the right to protect themselves.

Being called names and stuff, I mean I'm seriously, you're going to have to either grow a thicker skin or come up with some witty comebacks or both.

That's why we sassy gay men can whip a trick with our words, we learn to defend ourselves. For many of us, we had someone to show us the way -- a fairy godmother to help us navigate the gay world. They teach us how to stand strong with catty catchphrases and to always be true to ourselves, to have pride, to stay out of trouble, to use condoms.

Maybe we can't  stop bullying from ever happening, but we can be there to show a united front to help those who are being targeted. Blue shirt optional.

* If you want more info on the Stop Out Bullying campaign, go here